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It clearly declares the author’s intent to give up asking in the face of being ignored, without any specific insult or derogatory behavior. Either not replying

It clearly declares the author’s intent to give up asking in the face of being ignored, without any specific insult or derogatory behavior. Either not replying is fine with the recipient or it isn’t. If it’s rude to say “I won’t bother you again if you don’t reply”, what behavior would you replace that with that clearly indicates the outcome of choosing not to reply? I encounter this frequently at work, where people either care deeply that they be heard, or do not — but regardless are unreliable at replying when asked to be heard the first time. Including “here’s my next course of action if non-reply” permits them to remain silently without being rude if they wish to.

throwawaymath 7y ago
> If it’s rude to say “I won’t bother you again if you don’t reply”, what behavior would you replace that with that clearly indicates the outcome of choosing not to reply? Not bothering me in the first place, or maybe taking a hint. If I didn’t reply to your first or second emails, assume I don’t want to. A motivating example: the only people who have ever emailed me repeatedly and used language like, “one last time” are cold calling salespeople and recruiters. I do nothing when they initially reach out, but when they start using tactics like this I send them directly to spam. I get that they have to sing for their supper, but I won’t respond to synthetic overtures of familiarity or urgency.
- floatingatoll 7y ago
  I do not endorse the use of this method, or any other, in a sales scenario.
- repiret 7y ago
  I never want a sender with whom I have a bona fide relationship (business or personal) to feel ignored. If they were expecting a response and didn't get one, maybe I failed to perceive that expectation. Or maybe a technical issue caused the request or my response to get lost. Or most likely, I meant to respond and forgot. And with that in mind, I absolutely want people to follow up if they're getting radio silence from me - and I don't feel put off if the follow up is only "ping" or "poke" or "have you had a chance to think about this" or "I need to know by X because Y". Its not like its that hard to reply things like "thanks for info" or "sorry I can't make it" or "that's really in Elizabeth's bailiwick" or "I need to do some research and I'm planning to get back to you next week".
- j7ake 7y ago
  I have definitely sent reminder emails to people and have received a positive reply (eg, ah sorry your first message must have got directed to my spam, or thanks for reminding me) People can be forgetful. Reminders don’t hurt

throwawaymath 7y ago

> If it’s rude to say “I won’t bother you again if you don’t reply”, what behavior would you replace that with that clearly indicates the outcome of choosing not to reply? Not bothering me in the first place, or maybe taking a hint. If I didn’t reply to your first or second emails, assume I don’t want to. A motivating example: the only people who have ever emailed me repeatedly and used language like, “one last time” are cold calling salespeople and recruiters. I do nothing when they initially reach out, but when they start using tactics like this I send them directly to spam. I get that they have to sing for their supper, but I won’t respond to synthetic overtures of familiarity or urgency.

floatingatoll 7y ago
I do not endorse the use of this method, or any other, in a sales scenario.
repiret 7y ago
I never want a sender with whom I have a bona fide relationship (business or personal) to feel ignored. If they were expecting a response and didn't get one, maybe I failed to perceive that expectation. Or maybe a technical issue caused the request or my response to get lost. Or most likely, I meant to respond and forgot. And with that in mind, I absolutely want people to follow up if they're getting radio silence from me - and I don't feel put off if the follow up is only "ping" or "poke" or "have you had a chance to think about this" or "I need to know by X because Y". Its not like its that hard to reply things like "thanks for info" or "sorry I can't make it" or "that's really in Elizabeth's bailiwick" or "I need to do some research and I'm planning to get back to you next week".
j7ake 7y ago
I have definitely sent reminder emails to people and have received a positive reply (eg, ah sorry your first message must have got directed to my spam, or thanks for reminding me) People can be forgetful. Reminders don’t hurt