3 ms·

I disagree, having lived in large cities, everything always feels so impermanent and impersonal. Connections that should be easy to make with neighbors down the

by wpasc 7y ago

I disagree, having lived in large cities, everything always feels so impermanent and impersonal. Connections that should be easy to make with neighbors down the hall can feel more difficult than connections with neighbors down a driveway. I'm not sure what causes this phenomenon, but many people report feeling this way. No sources, but I've seen this notion circulate in articles and other forums.

cortesoft 7y ago
I wonder if it is because YOU are at an impermanent phase in your life. I live in Los Angeles, and would have said the same thing five years ago. However, in the last five years I have gotten married, had two kids, and bought a house. I feel much more connected to my location now. I have met my neighbors more than I ever did before buying a house, and have met many who have lived in the neighborhood for multiple generations. I feel like it takes making yourself more permanent before connections with neighbors become real.
- ianai 7y ago
  What do you mean by permanent? Having bought a house and married? Or creating a static environment for a child to grow up?
- rootusrootus 7y ago
  I've felt some of this since I got married and had kids, but I've chalked it up more to the increased social connections than any kind of 'permanence'. I know my neighbors a lot better because my kids know their kids, or I see them at the school, etc. I owned a house for 10 years before getting married and didn't really have any neighborhood connections, so I don't think that just buying a house is enough. Also, it helps in a lot of unexpected places, like at work. Now I have a lot more in common with managers and above than when I was a single guy. I'm very convinced that part of my recent jump in career progression has been this additional connection. Suddenly everyone sees me as management material, for better or worse.
- GauntletWizard 7y ago
  You bought a house. That implies you moved to a suburban area. Having owned a house in a suburban area in a transitory time of my life, and lived in a city for what I thought was settled down - no, there's no question, it was the suburban lifestyle that allowed meaningful connections.

by wpasc 7y ago

cortesoft 7y ago

I wonder if it is because YOU are at an impermanent phase in your life. I live in Los Angeles, and would have said the same thing five years ago. However, in the last five years I have gotten married, had two kids, and bought a house. I feel much more connected to my location now. I have met my neighbors more than I ever did before buying a house, and have met many who have lived in the neighborhood for multiple generations. I feel like it takes making yourself more permanent before connections with neighbors become real.

ianai 7y ago
What do you mean by permanent? Having bought a house and married? Or creating a static environment for a child to grow up?
rootusrootus 7y ago
I've felt some of this since I got married and had kids, but I've chalked it up more to the increased social connections than any kind of 'permanence'. I know my neighbors a lot better because my kids know their kids, or I see them at the school, etc. I owned a house for 10 years before getting married and didn't really have any neighborhood connections, so I don't think that just buying a house is enough. Also, it helps in a lot of unexpected places, like at work. Now I have a lot more in common with managers and above than when I was a single guy. I'm very convinced that part of my recent jump in career progression has been this additional connection. Suddenly everyone sees me as management material, for better or worse.
GauntletWizard 7y ago
You bought a house. That implies you moved to a suburban area. Having owned a house in a suburban area in a transitory time of my life, and lived in a city for what I thought was settled down - no, there's no question, it was the suburban lifestyle that allowed meaningful connections.