4 ms·

Your writing takes all the sex out of it-that doesn't give me a lot of confidence in your product. Heroku's copy is balls to the wall, yours is putting me to sl

by dreyfiz 16y ago

Your writing takes all the sex out of it-that doesn't give me a lot of confidence in your product. Heroku's copy is balls to the wall, yours is putting me to sleep. I'll give you a critique based on my own prejudices, for whatever it's worth: Typos: "severs"; "your" should be "you're". Also, you have your own capitalization scheme for "Node.js Camp", perhaps for emphasis? "Meet up" is two words, not one. Tone/confidence: Heroku's top billing is "rock-solid ruby platform". Yours is "a node.js cloud hosting platform". Heroku characterizes itself reassuringly as well as describing itself mechanically. "node.js cloud hosting platform" is a dead fish of a phrase. "COMING SOON!" When-ish? Why shouldn't I just bounce off your page? "Provision servers; build node.js apps; deploy!" Deathly boring copy. You can always tell when someone isn't smiling with their whole face, and the exclamation mark at the end is a fake smile. Compare the confidence of Sinatra's copy to the vague, insincerely jaunty feel of yours ("put this in your pipe/and smoke it". http://www.sinatrarb.com/ http://www.sinatrarb.com/ What is "provision servers"? Is it like dynos or EC2 instances? I don't understand what your technology is, and whether you're building a truly rich app platform like Heroku or just a thin layer of UI on top of EC2. Heroku really sells me on how cool their engineering is. Do you not talk about it because you have nothing cool to talk about? If you do, you should really start talking about what you're building. "We provide simple, scalable, and powerful node.js hosting for node.js developers in the cloud." A vague, limp snoozefest. "Developers should focus on hacking cool node.js applications, let us handle hosting, deployment, and scaling." This is insincere and it reads wrong. You sound like you're out of touch, trying to appeal to the cool kids with stilted language. "Dedicated Cloud Servers": so is this actually an application platform? It doesn't sound like it. "Git + SVN Integration": your target market probably isn't using svn.

619Cloud 16y ago
Thanks for pointing out the typos, fixed em up. Also, thanks for the feedback, you certainly have spot on comments. Writing marketing/copy text, is an art form, which I have not yet perfected, but still a work in progress.
- puredemo 16y ago
  You might look into getting a more brandable domain name as well. I registered trynode.com a couple weeks ago, for instance. There are plenty of strong names out there. nodedemo.com, nodejump.com, nodegem.com, noderun.com -- all available.
ericflo 16y ago
Wow, I don't know how to say this other than that I disagree with almost every single thing you said. You're really advocating that he emulate the hubris, overzealous, wannabe cool tone of "put this in your pipe/and smoke it"? Building a product like this doesn't mean cargo-culting the culture of other successful products in the space. It means building a solid technical foundation, a considerable amount of devops, an incessant focus on ease of deployment, and a few early success stories.
- Klonoar 16y ago
  For what it's worth, I actually agree with him. His edits actually entice me to give two shits about what the product potentially offers me. You do understand how marketing works, right? Nobody ever said it's pretty.
uniclaude 16y ago
While I agree with the most of what you say, I don't think that "node.js cloud hosting platform" is that wrong. In fact, when I opened the page, it didn't take me a second before I understood what it was about. Now, to OP, I would also suggest to change the "dedicated servers" icon. Who exactly in your target sees a laptop when thinking about servers in a cloud ? It doesn't make things clear to me. About the design, I think it lacks of whitespace in the middle (perhaps you were trying to create a cloud shape). Apart from that, I like the color scheme and the typography on the page.
- dreyfiz 16y ago
  The concept of "node.js cloud hosting platform" is already conveyed by the company name, domain name, and logo, so the tagline should say something else—that's why I compared it to Heroku. Heroku's name and domain don't tell you what you're getting, and yet their tagline doesn't just describe itself, it also characterizes itself. It's not just a "ruby platform". It's "rock-solid". They're not just offering to handle your deployment and scaling. They're saying you can deploy and scale "with confidence".

by dreyfiz 16y ago

619Cloud 16y ago

Thanks for pointing out the typos, fixed em up. Also, thanks for the feedback, you certainly have spot on comments. Writing marketing/copy text, is an art form, which I have not yet perfected, but still a work in progress.

puredemo 16y ago
You might look into getting a more brandable domain name as well. I registered trynode.com a couple weeks ago, for instance. There are plenty of strong names out there. nodedemo.com, nodejump.com, nodegem.com, noderun.com -- all available.

ericflo 16y ago

Wow, I don't know how to say this other than that I disagree with almost every single thing you said. You're really advocating that he emulate the hubris, overzealous, wannabe cool tone of "put this in your pipe/and smoke it"? Building a product like this doesn't mean cargo-culting the culture of other successful products in the space. It means building a solid technical foundation, a considerable amount of devops, an incessant focus on ease of deployment, and a few early success stories.

Klonoar 16y ago
For what it's worth, I actually agree with him. His edits actually entice me to give two shits about what the product potentially offers me. You do understand how marketing works, right? Nobody ever said it's pretty.

uniclaude 16y ago

While I agree with the most of what you say, I don't think that "node.js cloud hosting platform" is that wrong. In fact, when I opened the page, it didn't take me a second before I understood what it was about. Now, to OP, I would also suggest to change the "dedicated servers" icon. Who exactly in your target sees a laptop when thinking about servers in a cloud ? It doesn't make things clear to me. About the design, I think it lacks of whitespace in the middle (perhaps you were trying to create a cloud shape). Apart from that, I like the color scheme and the typography on the page.

dreyfiz 16y ago
The concept of "node.js cloud hosting platform" is already conveyed by the company name, domain name, and logo, so the tagline should say something else—that's why I compared it to Heroku. Heroku's name and domain don't tell you what you're getting, and yet their tagline doesn't just describe itself, it also characterizes itself. It's not just a "ruby platform". It's "rock-solid". They're not just offering to handle your deployment and scaling. They're saying you can deploy and scale "with confidence".