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I do pay to remove procrastination. I think a great example of the level of procrastination I’m talking about is this — despite getting two tickets, I didn’t re

by wincy 7y ago

I do pay to remove procrastination. I think a great example of the level of procrastination I’m talking about is this — despite getting two tickets, I didn’t renew my tags for my car for a year and a half after their expiration. It’s not like I was broke or busy. I just felt UGH every time I thought about it. I procrastinate things despite the great personal cost it might incur because of the anxiety of something even the most mildly unpleasant. I wouldn’t want to do work at work, so I’d endlessly scroll Hacker News or Reddit for about a year and a half. I’d leave at three because I was bored. I left one job and got fired from another. I take prescription amphetamines now. The difference is night and day. Developers I’ve worked with on the medication think I’m intelligent and diligent. Developers who have worked with me off the medication are baffled I got hired. People have a hard time believing they’re talking about the same person. The reward is great, but so are the costs. I’m really irritable in the evenings, and I struggle to be kind and enjoy time with my wife and daughter whom I’m ostensibly doing this for. I can’t just take some in the evenings, or I can’t sleep. It makes me more distant emotionally. My wife can instantly tell if I’ve taken Adderall, and not in a good way. My sense of humor changes, more cutting and rude. I take a drug that changes what interests me. I don’t take it on the weekends, because I’m terrified I’ll develop a tolerance, as happened once before. Tolerance doesn’t mean all effects (including side effects) are diminished. When tolerant the emotional effects seemed to scale linearly, bizarre things like crying on the kitchen floor because my wife didn’t want to talk about Austrian economics at 6am, but the concentration effect would level off and I’d feel foggy. So I sleep 14 hours on weekends, giving me even less time away from work and with my family. Vacations are the best because my wife says I’m “the man she married again” after a few days off the meds. I feel good but maaan am I unmotivated. I’m not saying I live in some dystopian nightmare. My life is so much better for it. Adderall has made me a firmly middle class citizen, it took me a year and a half of not taking it to realize without it (and propranolol, which reduces anxiety by just a tiny bit), there’s no way I can work a developer job. So every three months I pay the doctor, then pay the pharmacist, and I get a pill that fundamentally alters who I am.

TheLegace 7y ago
I've been through what you are talking about, but unfortunately I could not continue using those medications. What worked for me was not forcing structures in the brain to function through chemicals but actually changing them through a breakthrough treatment called Neurofeedback. It is possible to physically and permanently alter the behavior of the brain and achieve far greater results than any drug could possibly do. Along with proper physical/mental training you can come out far ahead and still retain the "you" instead of some artificial version that may never go away. The leading specialist in this field can be found on this website. You can find information about it here[1]. After significant research into the functioning of the brain. I realized that ADHD isn't a focusing problem. It's that the focus networks in your brain haven't been adequately trained and require the use of pharmaceuticals to temporarily induce this along with other negative side effects. [1] http://addcentre.com/ http://addcentre.com/
- stuntkite 7y ago
  I also have diminishing returns and consequences from the medications that enable me to be gainfully employed. I'm very interested in this. The website wasn't super clear on what Neurofeedback was after a cursory glance. Here's the summary from wikipedia[1] for anyone that is curious. > Neurofeedback (NFB), also called neurotherapy or neurobiofeedback, is a type of biofeedback that uses real-time displays of brain activity—most commonly electroencephalography (EEG)—in an attempt to teach self-regulation of brain function. Typically, sensors are placed on the scalp to measure electrical activity, with measurements displayed using video displays or sound. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurofeedback https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurofeedback
  - TheLegace 7y ago
    Unfortunately it is difficult to understand without experience and "learning" it. It was completely different from what I expected, but I was going to try anything. Basically by mounting a few EEG electrodes on your head it can measure 3 types of frequencies(Delta, Gamma and Alpha, although don't quote me on this). These frequencies relate to the "focus", "relaxation" and "cross-talk" functions of the brain that primarily are controlled by the Sensory-Motor Cortex. Most people who have trouble concentrating and functioning probably have difficulty in all these areas. Once you are hooked up you are expected look at a screen and listen to some music(usually classical), and try to get your frequency responses below some baseline. Basically strengthening them like a muscle. You actually train yourself based on the feedback the sensors are giving you. I managed to do some reverse engineering and figure out how the brain works to blow the numbers out of the water. Going from far below average to way above in a matter of months changed my life. I even figured out some things the center never tried before. Like significantly increasing the time I try to maintain the baseline, which allowed me get above average results. There was a lot more I figured out, but far to much for a HN post. Feel free to email for more info. I might make a post on it one day.
    - ScottFree 7y ago
      You don't have an email in your profile. I'm very interested in learning more. This sounds like something an enterprising hacker could set up in the comfort of his own home.
skinnymuch 7y ago
Why are you sleeping so much on weekends? The specific reason? I really need to stop taking stimulants on weekends. Or at least one day a week too. I don’t know if being off them one day a week will help enough. A lot of the issues you cited are happening to me. And the problems you cited of what happens if you take them 7 days a week are happening to me as well. I also feel trapped by them. I’ve been off them. But my work output drops steadily until I’m barely doing much. I believe if I stay off them long enough I’ll recover. But the two times I’ve tried i give up after 1-2 weeks as I want to get work done and go into a depressive spiral not doing enough. Especially now being out of work and changing career paths I feel I can’t stop taking my relatively high or at least strong medium dosage. I don’t want to be on my current dosage once I begin working for an employer. I’m really hoping I can delay work start date by a few weeks and go cold turkey then continue on a lower dosage. Like half.

by wincy 7y ago

TheLegace 7y ago

I've been through what you are talking about, but unfortunately I could not continue using those medications. What worked for me was not forcing structures in the brain to function through chemicals but actually changing them through a breakthrough treatment called Neurofeedback. It is possible to physically and permanently alter the behavior of the brain and achieve far greater results than any drug could possibly do. Along with proper physical/mental training you can come out far ahead and still retain the "you" instead of some artificial version that may never go away. The leading specialist in this field can be found on this website. You can find information about it here[1]. After significant research into the functioning of the brain. I realized that ADHD isn't a focusing problem. It's that the focus networks in your brain haven't been adequately trained and require the use of pharmaceuticals to temporarily induce this along with other negative side effects. [1] http://addcentre.com/ http://addcentre.com/

stuntkite 7y ago
I also have diminishing returns and consequences from the medications that enable me to be gainfully employed. I'm very interested in this. The website wasn't super clear on what Neurofeedback was after a cursory glance. Here's the summary from wikipedia[1] for anyone that is curious. > Neurofeedback (NFB), also called neurotherapy or neurobiofeedback, is a type of biofeedback that uses real-time displays of brain activity—most commonly electroencephalography (EEG)—in an attempt to teach self-regulation of brain function. Typically, sensors are placed on the scalp to measure electrical activity, with measurements displayed using video displays or sound. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurofeedback https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurofeedback
- TheLegace 7y ago
  Unfortunately it is difficult to understand without experience and "learning" it. It was completely different from what I expected, but I was going to try anything. Basically by mounting a few EEG electrodes on your head it can measure 3 types of frequencies(Delta, Gamma and Alpha, although don't quote me on this). These frequencies relate to the "focus", "relaxation" and "cross-talk" functions of the brain that primarily are controlled by the Sensory-Motor Cortex. Most people who have trouble concentrating and functioning probably have difficulty in all these areas. Once you are hooked up you are expected look at a screen and listen to some music(usually classical), and try to get your frequency responses below some baseline. Basically strengthening them like a muscle. You actually train yourself based on the feedback the sensors are giving you. I managed to do some reverse engineering and figure out how the brain works to blow the numbers out of the water. Going from far below average to way above in a matter of months changed my life. I even figured out some things the center never tried before. Like significantly increasing the time I try to maintain the baseline, which allowed me get above average results. There was a lot more I figured out, but far to much for a HN post. Feel free to email for more info. I might make a post on it one day.
  - ScottFree 7y ago
    You don't have an email in your profile. I'm very interested in learning more. This sounds like something an enterprising hacker could set up in the comfort of his own home.

skinnymuch 7y ago

Why are you sleeping so much on weekends? The specific reason? I really need to stop taking stimulants on weekends. Or at least one day a week too. I don’t know if being off them one day a week will help enough. A lot of the issues you cited are happening to me. And the problems you cited of what happens if you take them 7 days a week are happening to me as well. I also feel trapped by them. I’ve been off them. But my work output drops steadily until I’m barely doing much. I believe if I stay off them long enough I’ll recover. But the two times I’ve tried i give up after 1-2 weeks as I want to get work done and go into a depressive spiral not doing enough. Especially now being out of work and changing career paths I feel I can’t stop taking my relatively high or at least strong medium dosage. I don’t want to be on my current dosage once I begin working for an employer. I’m really hoping I can delay work start date by a few weeks and go cold turkey then continue on a lower dosage. Like half.