5 ms·

Ever been to a bar?

by ulisesrmzroche 7y ago

Ever been to a bar?

DanTheManPR 7y ago
Serious question: how do you meet people at a bar? It has never been clear to me how that actually works.
- ahelwer 7y ago
  People who go to bars alone are usually open to conversation. So you go to the bar and sit at the bar with open seats next to you. Whenever someone sits near you, you strike up conversation. It is wise here to have a keen sense of whether or not people are interested in continuing your conversation. Choose a bar with a relaxed, quiet atmosphere, probably serving tasty drinks so you have a shared activity over which to bond with people.
- PascLeRasc 7y ago
  Go to one with some kind of activity, like ping-pong, darts, or some kind of playoff sport on TV. It's pretty easy from there to start conversation, the key is to have some common topic to start discussion about.
- ulisesrmzroche 7y ago
  I second the others advice. It's good. This is what I do: I just find a bar or dance club I like, then I keep going by myself, or with friends. Doesn't matter. Make it a habit to get a drink, spend a little time there. Do whatever you want. Have fun. If you're by yourself, people will usually talk to you first. After a few times you go there, the regulars will know your face, you'll know them too, and conversation will flow quite easily. "Hey I've seen you before. What's your name?" That's all it takes. Another thing you can do, especially for travelers, is just pick up smoking. Marijuana, nicotine, doesn't matter. Go outside, find a spot where other people are smoking, ask if you can sit there. Say hi and ask everybodys name. If its lack of confidence, just remember that we all act like idiots all the time, no one is perfect, and everyone is drunk. People like to meet people. I have weirder ideas about this. I believe all conversation is telephatic. When we walk into a room, we sort of just know who is going to become a friend, who isn't, all that. If you feel someone is cool, just say hi. That person likely feels the exact same way even if they don't know why. When we walk into a bar, we sort of just know we are going to go back. That it's going to become our place.
donatj 7y ago
Yeah, but I've never made a lasting friendship in one.
- sixstringtheory 7y ago
  There’s a big difference though between decent conversation with strangers and long-lasting friendships. I’d even say it’s detrimental to always expect the latter from the former. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater!
- ulisesrmzroche 7y ago
  You’re not talking to enough people. Also, you’re too picky. I pick friends based on their kindness, sincerity, etc. Whether they are intelligent or not is pretty much irrelevant to me. I do all my intellectual work by myself.

Ever been to a bar?

DanTheManPR 7y ago

Serious question: how do you meet people at a bar? It has never been clear to me how that actually works.

ahelwer 7y ago
People who go to bars alone are usually open to conversation. So you go to the bar and sit at the bar with open seats next to you. Whenever someone sits near you, you strike up conversation. It is wise here to have a keen sense of whether or not people are interested in continuing your conversation. Choose a bar with a relaxed, quiet atmosphere, probably serving tasty drinks so you have a shared activity over which to bond with people.
PascLeRasc 7y ago
Go to one with some kind of activity, like ping-pong, darts, or some kind of playoff sport on TV. It's pretty easy from there to start conversation, the key is to have some common topic to start discussion about.
ulisesrmzroche 7y ago
I second the others advice. It's good. This is what I do: I just find a bar or dance club I like, then I keep going by myself, or with friends. Doesn't matter. Make it a habit to get a drink, spend a little time there. Do whatever you want. Have fun. If you're by yourself, people will usually talk to you first. After a few times you go there, the regulars will know your face, you'll know them too, and conversation will flow quite easily. "Hey I've seen you before. What's your name?" That's all it takes. Another thing you can do, especially for travelers, is just pick up smoking. Marijuana, nicotine, doesn't matter. Go outside, find a spot where other people are smoking, ask if you can sit there. Say hi and ask everybodys name. If its lack of confidence, just remember that we all act like idiots all the time, no one is perfect, and everyone is drunk. People like to meet people. I have weirder ideas about this. I believe all conversation is telephatic. When we walk into a room, we sort of just know who is going to become a friend, who isn't, all that. If you feel someone is cool, just say hi. That person likely feels the exact same way even if they don't know why. When we walk into a bar, we sort of just know we are going to go back. That it's going to become our place.

donatj 7y ago

Yeah, but I've never made a lasting friendship in one.

sixstringtheory 7y ago
There’s a big difference though between decent conversation with strangers and long-lasting friendships. I’d even say it’s detrimental to always expect the latter from the former. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater!
ulisesrmzroche 7y ago
You’re not talking to enough people. Also, you’re too picky. I pick friends based on their kindness, sincerity, etc. Whether they are intelligent or not is pretty much irrelevant to me. I do all my intellectual work by myself.