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When I hit my early 30s a few years ago all my friends moved away and had kids. Getting them together even in a virtual form to do anything in a synchronous way
by donatj 7y ago
When I hit my early 30s a few years ago all my friends moved away and had kids. Getting them together even in a virtual form to do anything in a synchronous way has become basically impossible - it leaves me longing for the days of AIM and IRC when it was very easy to make friends online.
I haven’t had a decent conversation with a stranger in years.
- tty2300 7y agoIts still easy to make friends online. Maybe you changed.
- dmos62 7y agoCould you make a step-by-step guide?
- SmellyGeekBoy 7y agoStep 1: Join a forum for a hobby / special interest that you have Step 2: Use it
- noxToken 7y ago1.) Be attractive. 2.) Don't be unattractive. Seriously, find a community and dive in. Doesn't matter if it's virtual or facilitates IRL meetups. Reddit is always a good place to start. Lots of those subs have Discord servers for more real time communication. You can even start with a broader, unrelated community like a regional or city-based tech community, and then ask around for people who share similar hobbies.
- diminoten 7y agoReddit, IRC, Discord for any hobby you have interest in. No one can teach you how to make friends, but the changing Internet isn't the problem at that point.
- currymj 7y agoyou can find discords for many topics that have the feel of old forums.
- ulisesrmzroche 7y agoEver been to a bar?
- DanTheManPR 7y agoSerious question: how do you meet people at a bar? It has never been clear to me how that actually works.
- ahelwer 7y agoPeople who go to bars alone are usually open to conversation. So you go to the bar and sit at the bar with open seats next to you. Whenever someone sits near you, you strike up conversation. It is wise here to have a keen sense of whether or not people are interested in continuing your conversation. Choose a bar with a relaxed, quiet atmosphere, probably serving tasty drinks so you have a shared activity over which to bond with people.
- PascLeRasc 7y agoGo to one with some kind of activity, like ping-pong, darts, or some kind of playoff sport on TV. It's pretty easy from there to start conversation, the key is to have some common topic to start discussion about.
- ulisesrmzroche 7y agoI second the others advice. It's good. This is what I do: I just find a bar or dance club I like, then I keep going by myself, or with friends. Doesn't matter. Make it a habit to get a drink, spend a little time there. Do whatever you want. Have fun. If you're by yourself, people will usually talk to you first. After a few times you go there, the regulars will know your face, you'll know them too, and conversation will flow quite easily. "Hey I've seen you before. What's your name?" That's all it takes. Another thing you can do, especially for travelers, is just pick up smoking. Marijuana, nicotine, doesn't matter. Go outside, find a spot where other people are smoking, ask if you can sit there. Say hi and ask everybodys name. If its lack of confidence, just remember that we all act like idiots all the time, no one is perfect, and everyone is drunk. People like to meet people. I have weirder ideas about this. I believe all conversation is telephatic. When we walk into a room, we sort of just know who is going to become a friend, who isn't, all that. If you feel someone is cool, just say hi. That person likely feels the exact same way even if they don't know why. When we walk into a bar, we sort of just know we are going to go back. That it's going to become our place.