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I have read the glowing endorsements of bidets on reddit and HN for a long time. I've researched after-market bidets that would be suitable for my bathroom. I'v

I have read the glowing endorsements of bidets on reddit and HN for a long time. I've researched after-market bidets that would be suitable for my bathroom. I've bookmarked a few that seem suitable and have good reviews. But there is one thing which stops me. I'm not sure of the exact details. Even in this thread, I don't know the brass tacks of using one. Do I turn on the sprayer and that is that? Or do I mechanically rub my ass with my hand during/after the anus gets wet? Then do I use toilet paper to dry? Just how much of my ass is going to get wet? Then of course I need to use soap and water to clean up my hands. But someone else below said they use soap and water on their butt. Too much is left to the imagination. Does anyone want to provide a detailed, step-by-step process of what I should do once I install one?

itsfuckingwater 7y ago
Just spray your fucking ass with the water, and then get it clean and dry with the other stuff. There are no rules. Just make sure the shit goes away, and try not to stink. Like taking a shower, but not as much shower. Just the asshole cleaning portion of bath time, isolated from the rest of bath time, and made readily available for when you need to take a shit, and don't want the whole body shower and change of clothes experience. That's it.
igammarays 7y ago
Yeah, if you just spray and pray you’re going to have a bad time. The way I was taught as a Middle Eastern man was: first use toilet paper at least three times to remove the majority of the material. Secondly, hold the spray hose or the bottle in your right hand and point downwards towards your perineum from the FRONT of your legs. Use your left hand to lift your junk and have two fingers down there. Now pour water over your left hand towards the perineum, and let the fingers carry the water and rub to clean out the ass crack. Usually a single litre water bottle is enough to feel extremely clean and refreshed. This method obviously works better if you’re squatting, but I use it with western toilets too. The most common mistake people make is to try and put their hands behind their back or pour the water from behind - makes a mess and doesn’t clean right. The imagery of the cleaning motion is like a woman fingering herself.
- thatoneuser 7y ago
  ...so you have to use your hands to clean shit out of your ass? This does not sound like a good thing.
  - crankylinuxuser 7y ago
    They wash their hands. What's so gross about them going extra lengths to cleanse themselves? Its not like they're going to then ignore their very hands, considering for many, its a religious law to be clean. It seems like bidet fear but 10x. For no good reason.
    - frosted-flakes 7y ago
      Have you ever got poop on your hands? That smell does not go away with just soap and water.
      - poo-grease 7y ago
        You need to use shampoo. Shampoo does the trick because it's a mild degreaser for hair, and also cuts through poop stink for the same reason: degreasing. The reason poop stank is so persistent is because human feces passes large quantities of oils and fats, which are the really messy aspect of poop. The stench is embedded in the non-evaporative oils and grease, and comingles with the oils from the sebacious glands of your skin. To cut through that stink, you need to chemically strip the oils that retain the aromatic grossness. Dish soap works too, but it really isn't designed to be skin friendly or have cosmetic appeal. Dish soap is stronger, and you don't need as much, which makes sense. Dish soap is intended to destroy food baked onto pots and pans, which is tougher than what your gastric juices do to food. Shampoo isn't as strong as dish soap, but the right kind will destroy any odor, and it's easier on your skin than dish soap.
      - CaptainMarvel 7y ago
        I think for millions of people around the world who get poop on their hands daily, the smell does go away.
rootusrootus 7y ago
There are lots of instructions just a Google click away. But for a short answer: 1. Just water, the pressure is more than sufficient. Hell, it's too much sometimes. 2. You can get models that air dry, but even the good ones aren't too quick, so it's pretty common to use a few squares of TP to dry. 3. Depends on you. If you habitually sit off-center you might actually get a wet cheek. Otherwise it's eerily spot-on. 4. I don't know about using soap on my butt. That seems like it would be ... irritating. Water is plenty by itself. I recommend trying one of the cheapo ones (Neo, for example), as they will give you an idea of what a washlet is like for a tenth or less of the cost. No heated seat or water, but I found that to be less of an issue than I expected. I bought the cheap one to see what I thought, and a couple years later I still haven't bothered upgrading to a Toto. I like the cold water. But where I live, it's not that cold.
- flanbiscuit 7y ago
  By "Neo" do you mean the "Luxe Bidet Neo"? The one where you attach it to an existing toilet?
  - rootusrootus 7y ago
    Yep, that's the one. They have several models. Looking through my order history, I got the Luxe Bidet Neo 185. Looks like I got it four years ago. I kinda still intend to get a Toto some day (or maybe a Brondell), but it's not a high priority to go spend $600 on, I'm pretty satisfied with the cheap model.
    - sneak 7y ago
      Having been to Japan since fully acclimating to my sub-$50 one, it turns out I actually prefer the tap-cold water. Most of the higher end ones heat the water and seem to use a lower water pressure (even on high).
PerfectElement 7y ago
I grew up using bidets and as an adult moved to a bidet-less country. I've installed handheld bidet sprays in all bathrooms in my house and they work great. Here's a pretty affordable one: https://www.amazon.com/Abedoe-Upgraded-Handheld-Sprayer-Operation/dp/B07FQGFH6L https://www.amazon.com/Abedoe-Upgraded-Handheld-Sprayer-Oper...
sneak 7y ago
The one I have attaches under the seat, and sends a little jet of water up at what I imagine is about a 45 degree angle. It would make the opposite wall wet (with clean water) if I ever turned it on not sitting on it, which I haven’t. Mine isn’t fancy, it doesn’t use power, just water pressure. The only setting is for front (for people without a penis) or for back (for everyone with an anus), and a knob for pressure. You poop, and when you’re done, without getting up, you turn it on, and the jet of water shoots upward and hits you in the butt. It’s within an inch or two of the hole, and you can easily feel where it’s hitting you. A little wiggle/adjustment of your body on the seat to get it aligned (oh, you’ll know) and then you wait about 2-4 seconds. A little leaning of your body in the forward/backward axis (an inch or two, maybe) to sweep the crack, then you’re clean and you turn it off. Usually a second flush (if you’re the courtesy flush type like me) and the whole event is like it never happened. Your hands are never involved, except to turn the knob on and off. I don’t end up wet enough that I need TP at all—haven’t bought it in a year or more. It works more on pressure than water volume, sort of like the sprayer on a sink to rinse out a glass. Pretty much only the crack gets wet, it is more of a single focused jet than a spray. Some people like to use TP to dry afterwards, but there isn’t much water on you once you turn it off. It’s focused and it doesn’t really spray your cheeks or anything. Mine was under $50 on Amazon. I buy one for every place I live in now, and couldn’t imagine going back. It’s night and day. There are other kinds which are more of a sink sprayer kind where you hold the sprayer and have to do some aiming and whatnot; I have little experience with those. Mine is the squirting type that installs between the toilet seat the the ceramic bowl (“lux neo 120”).
- tasty_freeze 7y ago
  Fantastic -- just what I was looking for!
jamieadams 7y ago
I replaced the lid of my toilet seat to one that has a bidet installed in it. It was easy to plumb into the existing cold water connection and cost around £30. It is the best thing I have ever bought. In answer to your question: I find that the bidet gets rid of all of the poop the vast majority of the time. I just pat myself down with a small amount of toilet paper to dry myself off. If I see poop on the paper I give myself another rinse. I can't handle dry wiping now. I save my poops for home.
jdashg 7y ago
You're stuck in perfectionist paralysis. Just get one and figure out what works for you, trial and error.

itsfuckingwater 7y ago

Just spray your fucking ass with the water, and then get it clean and dry with the other stuff. There are no rules. Just make sure the shit goes away, and try not to stink. Like taking a shower, but not as much shower. Just the asshole cleaning portion of bath time, isolated from the rest of bath time, and made readily available for when you need to take a shit, and don't want the whole body shower and change of clothes experience. That's it.

igammarays 7y ago

Yeah, if you just spray and pray you’re going to have a bad time. The way I was taught as a Middle Eastern man was: first use toilet paper at least three times to remove the majority of the material. Secondly, hold the spray hose or the bottle in your right hand and point downwards towards your perineum from the FRONT of your legs. Use your left hand to lift your junk and have two fingers down there. Now pour water over your left hand towards the perineum, and let the fingers carry the water and rub to clean out the ass crack. Usually a single litre water bottle is enough to feel extremely clean and refreshed. This method obviously works better if you’re squatting, but I use it with western toilets too. The most common mistake people make is to try and put their hands behind their back or pour the water from behind - makes a mess and doesn’t clean right. The imagery of the cleaning motion is like a woman fingering herself.

thatoneuser 7y ago
...so you have to use your hands to clean shit out of your ass? This does not sound like a good thing.
- crankylinuxuser 7y ago
  They wash their hands. What's so gross about them going extra lengths to cleanse themselves? Its not like they're going to then ignore their very hands, considering for many, its a religious law to be clean. It seems like bidet fear but 10x. For no good reason.
  - frosted-flakes 7y ago
    Have you ever got poop on your hands? That smell does not go away with just soap and water.
    - poo-grease 7y ago
      You need to use shampoo. Shampoo does the trick because it's a mild degreaser for hair, and also cuts through poop stink for the same reason: degreasing. The reason poop stank is so persistent is because human feces passes large quantities of oils and fats, which are the really messy aspect of poop. The stench is embedded in the non-evaporative oils and grease, and comingles with the oils from the sebacious glands of your skin. To cut through that stink, you need to chemically strip the oils that retain the aromatic grossness. Dish soap works too, but it really isn't designed to be skin friendly or have cosmetic appeal. Dish soap is stronger, and you don't need as much, which makes sense. Dish soap is intended to destroy food baked onto pots and pans, which is tougher than what your gastric juices do to food. Shampoo isn't as strong as dish soap, but the right kind will destroy any odor, and it's easier on your skin than dish soap.
    - CaptainMarvel 7y ago
      I think for millions of people around the world who get poop on their hands daily, the smell does go away.

rootusrootus 7y ago

There are lots of instructions just a Google click away. But for a short answer: 1. Just water, the pressure is more than sufficient. Hell, it's too much sometimes. 2. You can get models that air dry, but even the good ones aren't too quick, so it's pretty common to use a few squares of TP to dry. 3. Depends on you. If you habitually sit off-center you might actually get a wet cheek. Otherwise it's eerily spot-on. 4. I don't know about using soap on my butt. That seems like it would be ... irritating. Water is plenty by itself. I recommend trying one of the cheapo ones (Neo, for example), as they will give you an idea of what a washlet is like for a tenth or less of the cost. No heated seat or water, but I found that to be less of an issue than I expected. I bought the cheap one to see what I thought, and a couple years later I still haven't bothered upgrading to a Toto. I like the cold water. But where I live, it's not that cold.

flanbiscuit 7y ago
By "Neo" do you mean the "Luxe Bidet Neo"? The one where you attach it to an existing toilet?
- rootusrootus 7y ago
  Yep, that's the one. They have several models. Looking through my order history, I got the Luxe Bidet Neo 185. Looks like I got it four years ago. I kinda still intend to get a Toto some day (or maybe a Brondell), but it's not a high priority to go spend $600 on, I'm pretty satisfied with the cheap model.
  - sneak 7y ago
    Having been to Japan since fully acclimating to my sub-$50 one, it turns out I actually prefer the tap-cold water. Most of the higher end ones heat the water and seem to use a lower water pressure (even on high).

PerfectElement 7y ago

I grew up using bidets and as an adult moved to a bidet-less country. I've installed handheld bidet sprays in all bathrooms in my house and they work great. Here's a pretty affordable one: https://www.amazon.com/Abedoe-Upgraded-Handheld-Sprayer-Operation/dp/B07FQGFH6L https://www.amazon.com/Abedoe-Upgraded-Handheld-Sprayer-Oper...

sneak 7y ago

The one I have attaches under the seat, and sends a little jet of water up at what I imagine is about a 45 degree angle. It would make the opposite wall wet (with clean water) if I ever turned it on not sitting on it, which I haven’t. Mine isn’t fancy, it doesn’t use power, just water pressure. The only setting is for front (for people without a penis) or for back (for everyone with an anus), and a knob for pressure. You poop, and when you’re done, without getting up, you turn it on, and the jet of water shoots upward and hits you in the butt. It’s within an inch or two of the hole, and you can easily feel where it’s hitting you. A little wiggle/adjustment of your body on the seat to get it aligned (oh, you’ll know) and then you wait about 2-4 seconds. A little leaning of your body in the forward/backward axis (an inch or two, maybe) to sweep the crack, then you’re clean and you turn it off. Usually a second flush (if you’re the courtesy flush type like me) and the whole event is like it never happened. Your hands are never involved, except to turn the knob on and off. I don’t end up wet enough that I need TP at all—haven’t bought it in a year or more. It works more on pressure than water volume, sort of like the sprayer on a sink to rinse out a glass. Pretty much only the crack gets wet, it is more of a single focused jet than a spray. Some people like to use TP to dry afterwards, but there isn’t much water on you once you turn it off. It’s focused and it doesn’t really spray your cheeks or anything. Mine was under $50 on Amazon. I buy one for every place I live in now, and couldn’t imagine going back. It’s night and day. There are other kinds which are more of a sink sprayer kind where you hold the sprayer and have to do some aiming and whatnot; I have little experience with those. Mine is the squirting type that installs between the toilet seat the the ceramic bowl (“lux neo 120”).

tasty_freeze 7y ago
Fantastic -- just what I was looking for!

jamieadams 7y ago

I replaced the lid of my toilet seat to one that has a bidet installed in it. It was easy to plumb into the existing cold water connection and cost around £30. It is the best thing I have ever bought. In answer to your question: I find that the bidet gets rid of all of the poop the vast majority of the time. I just pat myself down with a small amount of toilet paper to dry myself off. If I see poop on the paper I give myself another rinse. I can't handle dry wiping now. I save my poops for home.

jdashg 7y ago

You're stuck in perfectionist paralysis. Just get one and figure out what works for you, trial and error.