I once was woken up in the middle of the night by stomach cramps. The project I was working on for a financial customer was in crunch mode, so as I sat down on

I once was woken up in the middle of the night by stomach cramps. The project I was working on for a financial customer was in crunch mode, so as I sat down on the crapper I started thinking if I was pooping from a balance or an off-balance account. A moment later I realized that was a dumb question: you can't keep the food you've eaten on your balance sheet! It took me a minute more or so to finally come to my senses.