5 ms·

One thing has been bothering me for years. What if I'm retarded and I don't know that? What if people around me pretend that I'm ok, being polite, or maybe I'm

by rorrr 16y ago

One thing has been bothering me for years. What if I'm retarded and I don't know that? What if people around me pretend that I'm ok, being polite, or maybe I'm so retarded that I can't notice their reaction to me. I haven't been able to find an answer.

dqh 16y ago
Stop smoking weed, if that's what got you onto the idea
- dqh 16y ago
  I mean that quite seriously, not sure if it came across right. I've seen weed induced paranoia cause people to fixate on these sorts of ideas.
donaq 16y ago
That seems like normal paranoia to me. :)
GreenNight 16y ago
This has bothered me from time to time for a long time too. It usually affects me most when I get to make other people do things I though they would not do for me. I've got no cure or definite answer for it. On the other hand I felt the same of my dancing abilities (and still do) but being praised(+) a lot by lots of people, some of them being international dancing figures, and one of my teachers - whom I find an excellent dancer - asking me to enter into her (not truly professional but important to her) dance company has made wonders to improve my self-image. Even though I feel clumsy from time to time, once a dance or so ;) So I guess trying to improve more in what you feel you do badly until everyone praises that aspect of you can help it. (+) I've got to say the praises where not about my technical level, but more about energy, fun and all the things that make a dance alive.
- colanderman 16y ago
  > one of my teachers - whom I find an excellent dancer - asking me to enter into her (not truly professional but important to her) Dude, you've gotta find a better place for that aside...
die_sekte 16y ago
Sounds like an extreme case of the Dunning-Kruger effect in combination with our good friend, the Impostor Syndrome. I'd say that you should seek external validation, i.e. make something and have it ripped apart on HN.
jeffcoat 16y ago
1. Assume self-interest on the part of (many but not all) other people. 2. See if you can convince some other person to give you money to solve a problem, where your solution involves something besides or in addition to physical labor. (Many but not all jobs qualify.) 3. Success? Congratulations, you are very likely not retarded. 3b. Not convinced because of the "many-but-not-all" qualification? Keep repeating 2 until you are. 3c. I admit that this will never refute the idea that every other person in the the entire world is conspiring to make you feel normal in spite of your deficiencies. (And now I'm part of the Conspiracy.) This seem identical to me to the problem of solipsism, so it doesn't bother me to not have a good answer for that.
jodrellblank 16y ago
So answer it. What if people pretend you're OK and you're really retarded? What is it that bothers you about that?
mcantor 16y ago
"My illness has made very little difference to my scientific work. I was lucky to have chosen theoretical physics that is mainly pure thought for which my physical disability is no handicap. I may be mentally disabled as well, but if so, I am too far gone to realize." - Stephen Hawking

by rorrr 16y ago

dqh 16y ago

Stop smoking weed, if that's what got you onto the idea

dqh 16y ago
I mean that quite seriously, not sure if it came across right. I've seen weed induced paranoia cause people to fixate on these sorts of ideas.

donaq 16y ago

That seems like normal paranoia to me. :)

GreenNight 16y ago

This has bothered me from time to time for a long time too. It usually affects me most when I get to make other people do things I though they would not do for me. I've got no cure or definite answer for it. On the other hand I felt the same of my dancing abilities (and still do) but being praised(+) a lot by lots of people, some of them being international dancing figures, and one of my teachers - whom I find an excellent dancer - asking me to enter into her (not truly professional but important to her) dance company has made wonders to improve my self-image. Even though I feel clumsy from time to time, once a dance or so ;) So I guess trying to improve more in what you feel you do badly until everyone praises that aspect of you can help it. (+) I've got to say the praises where not about my technical level, but more about energy, fun and all the things that make a dance alive.

colanderman 16y ago
> one of my teachers - whom I find an excellent dancer - asking me to enter into her (not truly professional but important to her) Dude, you've gotta find a better place for that aside...

die_sekte 16y ago

Sounds like an extreme case of the Dunning-Kruger effect in combination with our good friend, the Impostor Syndrome. I'd say that you should seek external validation, i.e. make something and have it ripped apart on HN.

jeffcoat 16y ago

1. Assume self-interest on the part of (many but not all) other people. 2. See if you can convince some other person to give you money to solve a problem, where your solution involves something besides or in addition to physical labor. (Many but not all jobs qualify.) 3. Success? Congratulations, you are very likely not retarded. 3b. Not convinced because of the "many-but-not-all" qualification? Keep repeating 2 until you are. 3c. I admit that this will never refute the idea that every other person in the the entire world is conspiring to make you feel normal in spite of your deficiencies. (And now I'm part of the Conspiracy.) This seem identical to me to the problem of solipsism, so it doesn't bother me to not have a good answer for that.

jodrellblank 16y ago

So answer it. What if people pretend you're OK and you're really retarded? What is it that bothers you about that?

mcantor 16y ago

"My illness has made very little difference to my scientific work. I was lucky to have chosen theoretical physics that is mainly pure thought for which my physical disability is no handicap. I may be mentally disabled as well, but if so, I am too far gone to realize." - Stephen Hawking