4 ms·

That sounds JUST like USAA...

DoreenMichele 7y ago
I consider this question to be a form of attempted doxxing and inappropriately invasive. It's not actually a secret what company I used to work for. I have named it on HN before. But I am not going to name it here in this comment. PSA: This sort of invasively "friendly" comment can go very bad places and often seems to have a gendered component where men who wouldn't dare to do something so rude to another man don't hesitate to do it to a woman. It often is very obviously motivated by an attempt to chat her up in hopes of making a personal/romantic connection. I have had multiple men ask me where I lived, men who sometimes had a clear and undeniable history of couching the same question quite differently when aimed at a man. They generally tried to be "chatty" and "friendly" with me in a way that assumed I was obligated to answer the question while stating up front that they understood if a man didn't want to answer a question like that on a public forum and was under no obligation to do so. I'm not putting this here with any expectation that the person I am replying to nor any man here will care. I fully expect to be ROFLstomped for saying it on HN. I'm putting it here for the women and other minorities who often seem to not realize that they can decline to answer such a question, flag it and even email the mods if they feel especially threatened by something going on. You don't have to "politely" answer extremely impolite questions that may have a clearly predatory intent or, at a minimum, that act with callous disregard for your personal safety by eliciting personal information you chose to not include in your comment and may not want publicized for some reason.
- onesmallcoin 7y ago
  It's sad we make it a war zone
  - DoreenMichele 7y ago
    It's sadder still that attempts to promote the peace by commenting on best practices are typically received with open hostility.
    - onesmallcoin 7y ago
      I really hear you, it's hard because in my mind the solutuon would be something along the lines of going back in time a couple thousand years and starting then, it's a delicate thing to care about on both sides and it shouldn't be. We preach equality but the games don't stop- I don't really have the perfect answer here
      - DoreenMichele 7y ago
        I don't either. I decided to err in a particular direction here and take the hit for it. I routinely err on the side of respecting the male side of the equation in such matters. It's part of why I am accepted to some degree here.
- crumpets 7y ago
  Get over yourself. The commenter said it sounds like USAA, likely because he/she worked there or knows about the culture and felt you hit the description on the head. Nobody cares about doxxing you and nobody cares that you are a woman. It’s a fucking comment about an insurance company.

I consider this question to be a form of attempted doxxing and inappropriately invasive. It's not actually a secret what company I used to work for. I have named it on HN before. But I am not going to name it here in this comment. PSA: This sort of invasively "friendly" comment can go very bad places and often seems to have a gendered component where men who wouldn't dare to do something so rude to another man don't hesitate to do it to a woman. It often is very obviously motivated by an attempt to chat her up in hopes of making a personal/romantic connection. I have had multiple men ask me where I lived, men who sometimes had a clear and undeniable history of couching the same question quite differently when aimed at a man. They generally tried to be "chatty" and "friendly" with me in a way that assumed I was obligated to answer the question while stating up front that they understood if a man didn't want to answer a question like that on a public forum and was under no obligation to do so. I'm not putting this here with any expectation that the person I am replying to nor any man here will care. I fully expect to be ROFLstomped for saying it on HN. I'm putting it here for the women and other minorities who often seem to not realize that they can decline to answer such a question, flag it and even email the mods if they feel especially threatened by something going on. You don't have to "politely" answer extremely impolite questions that may have a clearly predatory intent or, at a minimum, that act with callous disregard for your personal safety by eliciting personal information you chose to not include in your comment and may not want publicized for some reason.

onesmallcoin 7y ago
It's sad we make it a war zone
- DoreenMichele 7y ago
  It's sadder still that attempts to promote the peace by commenting on best practices are typically received with open hostility.
  - onesmallcoin 7y ago
    I really hear you, it's hard because in my mind the solutuon would be something along the lines of going back in time a couple thousand years and starting then, it's a delicate thing to care about on both sides and it shouldn't be. We preach equality but the games don't stop- I don't really have the perfect answer here
    - DoreenMichele 7y ago
      I don't either. I decided to err in a particular direction here and take the hit for it. I routinely err on the side of respecting the male side of the equation in such matters. It's part of why I am accepted to some degree here.
crumpets 7y ago
Get over yourself. The commenter said it sounds like USAA, likely because he/she worked there or knows about the culture and felt you hit the description on the head. Nobody cares about doxxing you and nobody cares that you are a woman. It’s a fucking comment about an insurance company.