The meaning of your experiences is what you make from it. It is the reason why I suggest you reading this book. A similar experience through different eyes. A p

The meaning of your experiences is what you make from it. It is the reason why I suggest you reading this book. A similar experience through different eyes. A psychologist probably might say about a therapeutic effect of this, but I'm not a consulting psychologist, so I rather say in a technical terms: it is hard to find meaning having just one point of data. You need at least two to draw a line. By the way, did he disliked you because of your desire to be a woman, or for some other reason? > I plan to act on suicide in the near future because of the torture. It makes hard to me to speak with you. It feels like a minefield, one wrong step, one wrong word and I became a cause of someone's death. I'll try to ignore that. Why are you suffering now? If I understood you right, torture ended at least a few years ago. Some kind of "flashbacks"?