4 ms·
Ask HN: How to be more confident and people person?
In the pressurized situation, I lose my confidence. I am not good people person but I think it is affecting me so much.
I am good in technology but could not explainand present ideas.
How to improve myself? Any books and suggestions are welcome.
- guest__user 7y agoI think you can start by avoiding saying things like "I am not a good people person" You can try to understand what your benchmarks are for performance. Maybe you can say "Sometimes i feel shy" instead of "I am shy" . Do you see the difference between the two?
- kodz4 7y agoPractice. Practice. Practice. My prof set up a small reading group when I was in college. 5-6 students would get together every week and discuss a preassigned paper. I was like you, lacking in confidence, hesitant to disagree, handling confrontation badly etc. But the group created an environment where I could learn how to deal with these things. I could see others fumbling about and realized it was not just me struggling. When I got things right others encouraged me. All this slowly translated into increased confidence. So try and set something up like that with friends/people who want to see you improve. Every week meet up and practice. Also recommend Marshall Rosenburg's Non-violent communication. It really helped me see certain things I was doing wrong and showed me ways to avoid them.
- steve_g 7y agoI think this book could be helpful. I've only skimmed it; I gave it as a gift to someone. All the parts I read seemed realistic, affirming, and practical. https://www.amazon.com/Social-Skills-Guidebook-Shyness-Conversations/dp/0994980701/ https://www.amazon.com/Social-Skills-Guidebook-Shyness-Conve...