4 ms·

Actually the rules are even simpler than that: 1. don't.

• Pfhreak 7y ago
  They really aren't? You can flirt, you can come on to people. Some people want that, and it's ok in some contexts.
  • Mirioron 7y ago
    And there is no way to tell which people are okay with this and which aren't without taking risks that can have severe consequences. Some men are just going to say "no thanks" to this, and on the scale of society that some men is a large number.
    • golergka 7y ago
      > And there is no way to tell which people are okay with this and which aren't without taking risks that can have severe consequences. Ask?
      • Mirioron 7y ago
        Just asking can be considered creepy or harassment.
        • Pfhreak 7y ago
          Navigating consent is a skill. Skills take practice. Can you intend to be respectful and still fail? Yes, absolutely. Just like any social skill, if you've not practiced it you run the risk of making yourself an outsider. My general thesis is that we're expecting men to be more practiced at this skill these days. Some men balk at this, some men were poorly prepared for this and struggle with a lack of proficiency in navigating consent. (To be clear, I believe there are women and gender minorities who fail to learn this skill as well, but the context of this conversation is about men this far.) The problem arises, I think, because most of us are taught a set of social skills pretty early - sharing, listening, etc. But we didn't start teaching the skill of consent very well until recently, and it's folks like us who were kids awhile ago who are left trying to pick up a new skill that people expect us to have. It's bloody difficult to learn a new skill when the consequence for failure is risking becoming a pariah.
          • Mirioron 7y ago
            >It's bloody difficult to learn a new skill when the consequence for failure is risking becoming a pariah. And some will simply choose not to take that risk. On a societal level that some suddenly turns into millions of people who don't have a vested interest in the long-term future of that society. PS I don't think that people lack skills around consent because they weren't taught it. I think people lack skills around it, because there is no clear expectation of what requires and doesn't require consent depending on the person.
  • amvalo 7y ago
    Ok then, tell me the last time you saw someone flirt with a stranger.