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I really think this captures it - you need to be the driving force if you're the one who feels like you want to make friends. Do you ever find yourself thinking

by guico 7y ago

I really think this captures it - you need to be the driving force if you're the one who feels like you want to make friends. Do you ever find yourself thinking "why does it always have to be me inviting/organizing events"? Meaning, it can be demoralizing to put in that effort and feel like it's not "sticking" in the sense of real friendships coming out of it, or at least invites back. But on a more positive note, from everything I've done I also think this kind of positive, magnet-like attitude is the way to go. It's almost like you have to go cross ways with 500 people in order to squeeze out 1 or 2 friends, so you need to speed up that process. Is that how you feel?

Jtsummers 7y ago
That's a good way of looking at it. And yeah, sometimes it can be demoralizing when people don't show to something I've put a lot of time into. But that's also why I've learned how to find easier social events to plan. The town I live in does a First Friday thing (more live music, art exhibits, etc.). I just throw the invite out to a bunch of people, if they show they show. Same for movies and other things. At some point a small "inner circle" or whatever forms, that's the group that'll stick around for a while. Some may just be more into going out, others will be close friends. But at least you've got the group started. It'll grow from there, especially if you can find a couple more socially outgoing people who enjoy planning.