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My wife and I did this as our first date when we first started dating; we're both Christian if you're wondering why someone would do this on a first date. Unexp

My wife and I did this as our first date when we first started dating; we're both Christian if you're wondering why someone would do this on a first date. Unexpectedly, the lady we were to visit literally lived her last hour before she passed away before our eyes. We listened and comforted her husband for the next hour or so. We also listened to the CNA make the difficult calls to her children, some of which were out of state. It was a somber and humbling experience. Our seniors need love just as much as we do.

alexhutcheson 7y ago
Wow that's a pretty intense experience for a first date.
- mars4rp 7y ago
  and probably the reason they are married.
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
inferiorhuman 7y ago
we're both Christian if you're wondering why someone would do this on a first date What does both of you identifying as christian have to do with anything? Are non-christians less likely to do empathetic things?
- wwweston 7y ago
  It's certainly worth knowing that Christianity, like most religious beliefs or philosophies, does not have a monopoly on empathy, kindness, or service, nor is its profession a guarantee that someone makes those things a studied part of their practice. But the commentor's claims seem limited to Christianity as a motivator for their behavior, which is hardly objectionable and a very different thing from your challenge-reading of their words.
  - inferiorhuman 7y ago
    But the commentor's claims seem limited to Christianity as a motivator for their behavior, which is hardly objectionable and a very different thing from your challenge-reading of their words. Yeah, no. There's a pernicious narrative the United States that christianity has a monopoly on positive, moral behavior. Yet it doesn't take long to find examples of christianity creating atrocious behavior (e.g. Trump, Michael McWhorter, Joel Osteen, Billy Graham). Looking through the poster's comment history it's clear he doesn't miss a chance to extol the virtues of christianity, much to the detriment of whatever else he's trying to communicate.
    - wwweston 7y ago
      > Yeah, no. No, yeah. > There's a pernicious narrative the United States that christianity has a monopoly on positive, moral behavior /.../ it doesn't take long to find examples of christianity creating atrocious behavior Sure. These are not the commenter's claims, though, so it's odd that they're what you're litigating. "We did a charitable thing as an expression of / motivated by our faith" is orthogonal to whether some portion of US Christians are either parochial in their moral philosophy or even not particularly good people. Claiming otherwise doesn't make it look like the they're the one with a hobby horse or over-evangelical approach.
      - inferiorhuman 7y ago
        These are not the commenter's claims, though, so it's odd that they're what you're litigating. It's sure implied by that wording. I think the term that's en vogue these days is microaggression. The exact words "because only christians would do something empathetic on a first date" weren't used, but the implication is there.
    - reddog 7y ago
      Really? It's no longer OK to identify as a Christian? It seems to me that in 2019 the only group that believes it has a monopoly on positive moral behavior are the new church ladies of the far left.
- cybersnowflake 7y ago
  Well, according to some statistics yes... https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/oct/30/religious-people-more-likely-give-charity-study/ https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/oct/30/religious-p... but saying christians visit the elderly for a first date does not necessarily imply nobody but christians are generous in any way.
  - inferiorhuman 7y ago
    Well, according to some statistics yes... And there it is. While I'm sure a study conducted by the "Institute on Faith & Giving" and published by a Moonie paper is objective it misses quite a bit by assuming that donating to charity is the only measure of empathy or generosity. https://www.philanthropy.com/article/America-s-Generosity-Divide/156175 https://www.philanthropy.com/article/America-s-Generosity-Di... Take a look a the states that rank towards the bottom of the list (mostly New England) and those that rank at the top (e.g. Alabama). Or take a look at how empathy is framed as a McCain vs Obama thing. What's missing from that sort of narrative is that Obama pushed government welfare where McCain fought it, that Massachusetts will have far more mature safety nets than Alabama. Supporting universal access to health care is no less empathetic than donating to a religious charity, the only difference is in who you trust to dole out the resources.
    - cybersnowflake 7y ago
      Another difference would be that the kind of redistribution Obama favors is compelled for one side of the equation while charity is more or less voluntary depending upon your vision of what the divine requires.
      - inferiorhuman 7y ago
        Another difference would be that the kind of redistribution Obama favors is compelled for one side of the equation Sure, and there are plenty of welfare programs that predate Obama. Welfare programs that were, in large part, created by elected officials.
- phamjamstudio 7y ago
  As others have pointed out, I mainly mentioned our faith as the reason that drives us to serve the greater community such as the seniors at the hospice care center we visited; I almost didn't but i thought it was worthwhile given it's probably an uncommon first date. I have and love many family members and friends who aren't Christian who of course have done similarly empathetic things out of the goodness of their heart; I'm sure we can all name such people in our lives - we should share their stories too. I really appreciate the author and in light of this story, all the health care employees who work tirelessly to support and care for the ailing and downtrodden. This is what "loving your neighbor as you would love yourself" means.

alexhutcheson 7y ago

Wow that's a pretty intense experience for a first date.

mars4rp 7y ago
and probably the reason they are married.
- deleted 7y ago
  [deleted]

inferiorhuman 7y ago

we're both Christian if you're wondering why someone would do this on a first date What does both of you identifying as christian have to do with anything? Are non-christians less likely to do empathetic things?

wwweston 7y ago
It's certainly worth knowing that Christianity, like most religious beliefs or philosophies, does not have a monopoly on empathy, kindness, or service, nor is its profession a guarantee that someone makes those things a studied part of their practice. But the commentor's claims seem limited to Christianity as a motivator for their behavior, which is hardly objectionable and a very different thing from your challenge-reading of their words.
- inferiorhuman 7y ago
  But the commentor's claims seem limited to Christianity as a motivator for their behavior, which is hardly objectionable and a very different thing from your challenge-reading of their words. Yeah, no. There's a pernicious narrative the United States that christianity has a monopoly on positive, moral behavior. Yet it doesn't take long to find examples of christianity creating atrocious behavior (e.g. Trump, Michael McWhorter, Joel Osteen, Billy Graham). Looking through the poster's comment history it's clear he doesn't miss a chance to extol the virtues of christianity, much to the detriment of whatever else he's trying to communicate.
  - wwweston 7y ago
    > Yeah, no. No, yeah. > There's a pernicious narrative the United States that christianity has a monopoly on positive, moral behavior /.../ it doesn't take long to find examples of christianity creating atrocious behavior Sure. These are not the commenter's claims, though, so it's odd that they're what you're litigating. "We did a charitable thing as an expression of / motivated by our faith" is orthogonal to whether some portion of US Christians are either parochial in their moral philosophy or even not particularly good people. Claiming otherwise doesn't make it look like the they're the one with a hobby horse or over-evangelical approach.
    - inferiorhuman 7y ago
      These are not the commenter's claims, though, so it's odd that they're what you're litigating. It's sure implied by that wording. I think the term that's en vogue these days is microaggression. The exact words "because only christians would do something empathetic on a first date" weren't used, but the implication is there.
  - reddog 7y ago
    Really? It's no longer OK to identify as a Christian? It seems to me that in 2019 the only group that believes it has a monopoly on positive moral behavior are the new church ladies of the far left.
cybersnowflake 7y ago
Well, according to some statistics yes... https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/oct/30/religious-people-more-likely-give-charity-study/ https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/oct/30/religious-p... but saying christians visit the elderly for a first date does not necessarily imply nobody but christians are generous in any way.
- inferiorhuman 7y ago
  Well, according to some statistics yes... And there it is. While I'm sure a study conducted by the "Institute on Faith & Giving" and published by a Moonie paper is objective it misses quite a bit by assuming that donating to charity is the only measure of empathy or generosity. https://www.philanthropy.com/article/America-s-Generosity-Divide/156175 https://www.philanthropy.com/article/America-s-Generosity-Di... Take a look a the states that rank towards the bottom of the list (mostly New England) and those that rank at the top (e.g. Alabama). Or take a look at how empathy is framed as a McCain vs Obama thing. What's missing from that sort of narrative is that Obama pushed government welfare where McCain fought it, that Massachusetts will have far more mature safety nets than Alabama. Supporting universal access to health care is no less empathetic than donating to a religious charity, the only difference is in who you trust to dole out the resources.
  - cybersnowflake 7y ago
    Another difference would be that the kind of redistribution Obama favors is compelled for one side of the equation while charity is more or less voluntary depending upon your vision of what the divine requires.
    - inferiorhuman 7y ago
      Another difference would be that the kind of redistribution Obama favors is compelled for one side of the equation Sure, and there are plenty of welfare programs that predate Obama. Welfare programs that were, in large part, created by elected officials.
phamjamstudio 7y ago
As others have pointed out, I mainly mentioned our faith as the reason that drives us to serve the greater community such as the seniors at the hospice care center we visited; I almost didn't but i thought it was worthwhile given it's probably an uncommon first date. I have and love many family members and friends who aren't Christian who of course have done similarly empathetic things out of the goodness of their heart; I'm sure we can all name such people in our lives - we should share their stories too. I really appreciate the author and in light of this story, all the health care employees who work tirelessly to support and care for the ailing and downtrodden. This is what "loving your neighbor as you would love yourself" means.