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> Does a flower stop being pretty just because you don't expect or desire it to be pretty? Sometimes. If I didn't desire it to be pretty, then I may have never

> Does a flower stop being pretty just because you don't expect or desire it to be pretty? Sometimes. If I didn't desire it to be pretty, then I may have never planted it. By not desiring it to be pretty, we limit ourselves to enjoying only those flowers planted by others or by nature. Maybe that's enough. Or maybe there's less in the world to enjoy when so many people stop desiring to enjoy. Or maybe our appreciation for the beauty of a flower is simply heightened when it's the fruit of our investment in planting and nurturing it, which was motivated by our expectations and desire for it to be pretty. > It may also be stamped upon in the next moment by a passer-by. It has less chance to be trampled if my desire for it to live motivated me to take measures to maximize its chances of survival, such as planting it in a garden where it's less likely to be trampled, or watering it, or giving it better soil in which to grow. There are probably good lessons to be learned from both points of view. Having expectations may be the necessary evil that drives us to change things for the better. But it also makes us less happy when they don't pan out. In fact, I think that's the message in the many sayings about changing what we can and accepting what we can't.

ccmonnett 7y ago
I am a Buddhist. I had a heck of a time getting my garden ready for a party last weekend because caterpillars are rampaging my roses. Do I let the caterpillars be, since they’re just “doing their caterpillar thing,” or do I trim the branches on which they’ve taken root in order to let the roses thrive just a little bit more? It felt like much more of an internal crisis than it likely was, but your post echoed the innate desires I struggled with last week. FWIW I feel that I have much more respect for “things as they are” since setting out on this journey. Desire for prettiness may lead you to plant flowers, but I have found myself much more appreciative of the world around me on a much wider spectrum than I used to. Prettiness isn’t inherently good - it’s just another aspect of things. I still smell roses, and they are often pretty, but the unprettiness of their surroundings is equally valid and in a sense necessary to enjoy their prettiness together. The beauty is in the system as a whole, not the prettiness of the roses. By the way, I ultimately let the caterpillars and roses duke it out on their own.
- JangoSteve 7y ago
  That is actually an incredibly interesting anecdote about the catepillars. Thanks for that! It's kind of funny, because your second point about the unprettiness of the rose's surroundings being equally valid as the prettiness of the roses reminds me of how I started liking some of the foods I had hated as a child. At some point in my young adulthood, I started appreciating tastes for what they were, as experiences. In this way, I began thinking about the sensations that foods triggered, and how interesting and different the foods I didn't used to like were. It made me start appreciating them just for being able to experience the uniqueness of the taste and texture, and next thing I knew, I no longer disliked those foods.

ccmonnett 7y ago

I am a Buddhist. I had a heck of a time getting my garden ready for a party last weekend because caterpillars are rampaging my roses. Do I let the caterpillars be, since they’re just “doing their caterpillar thing,” or do I trim the branches on which they’ve taken root in order to let the roses thrive just a little bit more? It felt like much more of an internal crisis than it likely was, but your post echoed the innate desires I struggled with last week. FWIW I feel that I have much more respect for “things as they are” since setting out on this journey. Desire for prettiness may lead you to plant flowers, but I have found myself much more appreciative of the world around me on a much wider spectrum than I used to. Prettiness isn’t inherently good - it’s just another aspect of things. I still smell roses, and they are often pretty, but the unprettiness of their surroundings is equally valid and in a sense necessary to enjoy their prettiness together. The beauty is in the system as a whole, not the prettiness of the roses. By the way, I ultimately let the caterpillars and roses duke it out on their own.

JangoSteve 7y ago
That is actually an incredibly interesting anecdote about the catepillars. Thanks for that! It's kind of funny, because your second point about the unprettiness of the rose's surroundings being equally valid as the prettiness of the roses reminds me of how I started liking some of the foods I had hated as a child. At some point in my young adulthood, I started appreciating tastes for what they were, as experiences. In this way, I began thinking about the sensations that foods triggered, and how interesting and different the foods I didn't used to like were. It made me start appreciating them just for being able to experience the uniqueness of the taste and texture, and next thing I knew, I no longer disliked those foods.