Your question is « how to think about it », not about receiving a pre-cooked answer. My suggestion is to think about it strategically. Make a diagnostic (what

Your question is « how to think about it », not about receiving a pre-cooked answer. My suggestion is to think about it strategically. Make a diagnostic (what is wrong and why), derive principles (what are the truly important rules to observe if you want to fix things), finally build a corresponding action plan (what you need to do, and in what order). Rewalk these steps regularly. Talk with your family and partners. Guilt will go away if you stand on principles you believe in. Good luck!