5 ms·

“Positive thinking” has turned happiness into a duty and a burden

34 points by rohmanhakim 7y ago

darepublic 7y ago
The movie Inside out taught me this lesson already
charlysl 7y ago
Common sense trumps psychological fads any time.
Starknaked 7y ago
I believe the worst part of this is society seems to be built around hiding anything other than positive emotions. People bottle up their feelings instead of expressing them because that is how we've been raised to behave. Like how many men express mostly anger because it seems to be the only consistently socially acceptable emotion even though it is the most destructive. The more freedom and comfort everyone felt to express themselves honestly then the less build up of emotional pressure there is to release when they do. This means people feeling more emotionally content. It's like when someone is sad and crying people think the best way to help is to cheer them up and stop them feeling sad but all they're doing is stopping them from expressing that sadness which makes it worse. I did a therapy course which was CBT with horses and it was a real eye opener to me as I've never been around horses before. The therapist shown me the body language and behaviours of her horses and their hierarchy. The way they would get into arguments and instantly express the emotions they felt from them by stamping their hooves or through the "out breath". That letting go of emotional energy good or bad and understanding the transient nature of emotions is very liberating.
- vbuwivbiu 7y ago
  Expressing any 'negative' emotion (frustration, anger, impatience, irritation, boredom) is seen as weak-minded and irresponsible. We must pretend at all times that we're confident, unphasable, happy and charismatic. Anyone feeling stressed at the end of the day will be fired.
  - Starknaked 7y ago
    You reminded me of this scene from The Simpsons https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlyzkw1we_g https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlyzkw1we_g .
chewz 7y ago
I personally come from a culture where people bond on negative emotions and sinking their existential despair in vodka. People who are optimistic, upbeat like Americans or some Western Europeans are perceived with suspiction as shallow or brainwashed and most of all fake. Can't say it is a better aproach to life
captainbland 7y ago
> bosses want to see smiling enthusiasm in the workplace; and the only way to respond to “how are you?” is with a joyful “great!” This is hardly a new observation, but this needs to stop. Just because you're being paid to do some work doesn't mean your boss should get to dictate your emotions to you.
speedplane 7y ago
Every military for centuries has recognized the value of morale. People who are happy doing what they do, tend to do it better than people who hate what they're doing. There's nothing wrong with wanting your team members to enjoy what they are doing, in many ways it is a duty. But forcing people to be happy doesn't really make them happy.
RickJWagner 7y ago
“People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln, a man who sometimes suffered from depression

34 points by rohmanhakim 7y ago

darepublic 7y ago

The movie Inside out taught me this lesson already

charlysl 7y ago

Common sense trumps psychological fads any time.

Starknaked 7y ago

I believe the worst part of this is society seems to be built around hiding anything other than positive emotions. People bottle up their feelings instead of expressing them because that is how we've been raised to behave. Like how many men express mostly anger because it seems to be the only consistently socially acceptable emotion even though it is the most destructive. The more freedom and comfort everyone felt to express themselves honestly then the less build up of emotional pressure there is to release when they do. This means people feeling more emotionally content. It's like when someone is sad and crying people think the best way to help is to cheer them up and stop them feeling sad but all they're doing is stopping them from expressing that sadness which makes it worse. I did a therapy course which was CBT with horses and it was a real eye opener to me as I've never been around horses before. The therapist shown me the body language and behaviours of her horses and their hierarchy. The way they would get into arguments and instantly express the emotions they felt from them by stamping their hooves or through the "out breath". That letting go of emotional energy good or bad and understanding the transient nature of emotions is very liberating.

vbuwivbiu 7y ago
Expressing any 'negative' emotion (frustration, anger, impatience, irritation, boredom) is seen as weak-minded and irresponsible. We must pretend at all times that we're confident, unphasable, happy and charismatic. Anyone feeling stressed at the end of the day will be fired.
- Starknaked 7y ago
  You reminded me of this scene from The Simpsons https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlyzkw1we_g https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlyzkw1we_g .

chewz 7y ago

I personally come from a culture where people bond on negative emotions and sinking their existential despair in vodka. People who are optimistic, upbeat like Americans or some Western Europeans are perceived with suspiction as shallow or brainwashed and most of all fake. Can't say it is a better aproach to life

captainbland 7y ago

> bosses want to see smiling enthusiasm in the workplace; and the only way to respond to “how are you?” is with a joyful “great!” This is hardly a new observation, but this needs to stop. Just because you're being paid to do some work doesn't mean your boss should get to dictate your emotions to you.

speedplane 7y ago

Every military for centuries has recognized the value of morale. People who are happy doing what they do, tend to do it better than people who hate what they're doing. There's nothing wrong with wanting your team members to enjoy what they are doing, in many ways it is a duty. But forcing people to be happy doesn't really make them happy.

RickJWagner 7y ago

“People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln, a man who sometimes suffered from depression