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Ive read some of the book "The Art of Empathy", in which the author describes anger as "the prideful sentry." I like this way of thinking about it. Clearly, an

Ive read some of the book "The Art of Empathy", in which the author describes anger as "the prideful sentry." I like this way of thinking about it. Clearly, any emotion when taken to the extreme is bad, and anger is perhaps the most obvious example -- yet I would hesitate to call its existence useless, even in a modern context. Anger & pride both have functions as "alarm systems" for circumstances which would be detrimental to certain things we value. EDIT: I now realize that your original comment was not presenting such a black-and-white view of the subject as I originally perceived. Keeping my comment above in tact for historical purposes

steve_adams_86 7y ago
I agree. No emotion or sensation is 'useless', because they all serve to tell us about what's going on inside and around us. I suppose that's the key here. We can listen to anger and fear all day, but we don't have to connect that high-charge wire to whatever machine it's telling us to. It's really important to observe the feelings and not let it get out of control. It's also critical to understand why the feeling came, how it developed, and what it means about ourselves. I think those two parts are often ignored. The same can even be said for attraction which can lead to crazy infatuation, or the desire to relax which can lead to chronically getting nothing done. Mostly these are very positive thoughts and feelings in moderation, so it's also difficult to observe and reconsider in the moment. Fear and anger are very important as well, but the product of both can be devastating when unregulated. This is hard to teach to kids. I have kids, and one of them actually gets angry far too easily - maybe even more than I did as a kid. Trying to explain the idea of being responsible for what his anger leads to feels like a Sisyphean task at times. It's so important to me though to have them understand that ultimately, they decide how they react to what happens to them or around them. And of course the same applies to all those other feelings. People are complicated.
- dredmorbius 7y ago
  Chuck D. looked into that. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Expression_of_the_Emotions_in_Man_and_Animals https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Expression_of_the_Emotions... https://archive.org/details/expressionofemot1872darw/page/n4 https://archive.org/details/expressionofemot1872darw/page/n4
- WhitneyLand 7y ago
  Hard to teach kids? Can you rule out it being impossible for everyone, except for individual cases like yours where highly motivated circumstance intersect with opportunity to learn them? In other words, you're talking about exploiting centuries of cross-disciplinary not always intuitive wisdom. First, would anyone be able to arrive at these conclusions and how to efficiently implement them in time to help themselves? If not, we require learning reading in school but not learning to read this stuff, so who would think to study it unless there was specific cultural awareness? Last chance, lucky for you your dad will suggest it. Not so lucky though, almost anyone telling you to change your life in a direction you're not seeking will sound like a dumbass peddling koolaid. Is the last nail in the coffin it's sometimes counterintuitive? Why should a person not think, sounds nice dumbass (temper trolling, I apologize), but you've got no way to prove it's going to on my non-sheep smart brain. And you can't prove it really, with any certainty. Despite the irony that the smarter and less sheeplike s/he is the more successful they are likely to be with it (speculation). Loved the root comment/anecdote though, one cynical point doesn't change that. It's probably a rare beast, a comment that could add value years from now - no shelf life, on a tech site even.
- deesep 7y ago
  > It's really important to observe the feelings and not let it get out of control. It's also critical to understand why the feeling came, how it developed, and what it means about ourselves. You just described Emotional intelligence, which I gained by practising Yoga, meditation and stoicism. I used to be neurotic and my anxieties ruled me. I didn't get angry often but when I did it was explosive. People were often surprised cause they never thought I could be like that. Three years ago, burnt out, feeling empty and seeking purpose, I quit working and began searching. Trust me when I say that I had no idea what I was searching for. I just needed to search for 'meaning' and purpose. It led me to yoga and meditation and my life began to change. I started to gain Emotional intelligence and better control of my nerves. It was like I was born again. My anger outbursts slowly disappead. I able to observe About a year after I began yoga and meditation, I got a copy of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and I got even better. After 3 years I went back to work. I practice yoga and meditation with my kid. It was hard at first, but I tried to make it fun for her. Now she enjoys it. I teach her about Emotional intelligence and read the daily Stoic with her when I can. She loves Epictetus :)
nostrademons 7y ago
I've heard Brene Brown call anger a "catalytic" emotion. It's supposed to tell us when we've been wronged or something is harmful to us in the environment, but then it's then up to us to step back, evaluate the situation rationally, and figure out exactly what's wrong and what can we do to remove ourselves from the harmful situation. In other words, anger's supposed to be a spur to action: if you just sit their stewing, you are missing the point. And if you just impulsively react, you're heeding the anger but probably not taking the most effective course you could be.

steve_adams_86 7y ago

I agree. No emotion or sensation is 'useless', because they all serve to tell us about what's going on inside and around us. I suppose that's the key here. We can listen to anger and fear all day, but we don't have to connect that high-charge wire to whatever machine it's telling us to. It's really important to observe the feelings and not let it get out of control. It's also critical to understand why the feeling came, how it developed, and what it means about ourselves. I think those two parts are often ignored. The same can even be said for attraction which can lead to crazy infatuation, or the desire to relax which can lead to chronically getting nothing done. Mostly these are very positive thoughts and feelings in moderation, so it's also difficult to observe and reconsider in the moment. Fear and anger are very important as well, but the product of both can be devastating when unregulated. This is hard to teach to kids. I have kids, and one of them actually gets angry far too easily - maybe even more than I did as a kid. Trying to explain the idea of being responsible for what his anger leads to feels like a Sisyphean task at times. It's so important to me though to have them understand that ultimately, they decide how they react to what happens to them or around them. And of course the same applies to all those other feelings. People are complicated.

dredmorbius 7y ago
Chuck D. looked into that. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Expression_of_the_Emotions_in_Man_and_Animals https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Expression_of_the_Emotions... https://archive.org/details/expressionofemot1872darw/page/n4 https://archive.org/details/expressionofemot1872darw/page/n4
WhitneyLand 7y ago
Hard to teach kids? Can you rule out it being impossible for everyone, except for individual cases like yours where highly motivated circumstance intersect with opportunity to learn them? In other words, you're talking about exploiting centuries of cross-disciplinary not always intuitive wisdom. First, would anyone be able to arrive at these conclusions and how to efficiently implement them in time to help themselves? If not, we require learning reading in school but not learning to read this stuff, so who would think to study it unless there was specific cultural awareness? Last chance, lucky for you your dad will suggest it. Not so lucky though, almost anyone telling you to change your life in a direction you're not seeking will sound like a dumbass peddling koolaid. Is the last nail in the coffin it's sometimes counterintuitive? Why should a person not think, sounds nice dumbass (temper trolling, I apologize), but you've got no way to prove it's going to on my non-sheep smart brain. And you can't prove it really, with any certainty. Despite the irony that the smarter and less sheeplike s/he is the more successful they are likely to be with it (speculation). Loved the root comment/anecdote though, one cynical point doesn't change that. It's probably a rare beast, a comment that could add value years from now - no shelf life, on a tech site even.
deesep 7y ago
> It's really important to observe the feelings and not let it get out of control. It's also critical to understand why the feeling came, how it developed, and what it means about ourselves. You just described Emotional intelligence, which I gained by practising Yoga, meditation and stoicism. I used to be neurotic and my anxieties ruled me. I didn't get angry often but when I did it was explosive. People were often surprised cause they never thought I could be like that. Three years ago, burnt out, feeling empty and seeking purpose, I quit working and began searching. Trust me when I say that I had no idea what I was searching for. I just needed to search for 'meaning' and purpose. It led me to yoga and meditation and my life began to change. I started to gain Emotional intelligence and better control of my nerves. It was like I was born again. My anger outbursts slowly disappead. I able to observe About a year after I began yoga and meditation, I got a copy of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and I got even better. After 3 years I went back to work. I practice yoga and meditation with my kid. It was hard at first, but I tried to make it fun for her. Now she enjoys it. I teach her about Emotional intelligence and read the daily Stoic with her when I can. She loves Epictetus :)

nostrademons 7y ago

I've heard Brene Brown call anger a "catalytic" emotion. It's supposed to tell us when we've been wronged or something is harmful to us in the environment, but then it's then up to us to step back, evaluate the situation rationally, and figure out exactly what's wrong and what can we do to remove ourselves from the harmful situation. In other words, anger's supposed to be a spur to action: if you just sit their stewing, you are missing the point. And if you just impulsively react, you're heeding the anger but probably not taking the most effective course you could be.