4 ms·
I just got back a month-long trip by myself. It was interesting to note that a ton of people I talked to before going, friends, family, acquaintances, were all
by griffinkelly 7y ago
I just got back a month-long trip by myself. It was interesting to note that a ton of people I talked to before going, friends, family, acquaintances, were all shocked I would travel alone. The overwhelming response was, "aren't you going to get lonely?" I think it's important to be alone and enjoy your own company.
Working remotely too, I get a very similar question. "Don't you miss working with people?" I work with people all the time, but I think that being alone magnifies the effect of spending quality time with people, rather than just spending time together for the sake of being together.
- cosmodisk 7y agoA lot of people don't get this. When I tell I like companies, everyone's fine.When I say I equally like being on my own, a lot of people get funny about it. I could sit in a room just with myself for weeks and I'd be fine and I'd enjoy it,while a lot of people would go crazy pretty quickly.
- OneWordSoln 7y agoIt's just my guess, but I think that most people are so uncomfortable with their own thoughts and feelings that they have to continually drown them out with idle chatter. The problem is that they select those others very carefully so as to avoid any ideas that may impinge upon their established worldview. Perhaps it comes down to that there are just very few genuinely curious and intellectually honest people in the world, the result being that the majority (i.e. the others) self-select their environments and then either ignore others or, worse yet, attack them.
- nsrivast 7y agoPerhaps there are some genuinely curious and intellectually honest people who learn from interacting and experiencing with others. Perhaps more.
- 52-6F-62 7y agoI had a similar (relating more to social media than people), but qualitatively different, experience last fall. My partner and I went on a trip for a few days. While relaying the plans to some coworkers and visiting colleagues while out for lunch I was asked for my instagram handle so they could see my photos. I replied I didn't have one. The group started into shock and said, to summarize, nobody can follow along to my trip. All i could say was I don't care. Of course, there are many other ways to share photos if I want, but keeping a live journal of it wasn't why I went...
- godshatter 7y agoA lot of people don't understand that being by yourself is no the same thing as being "lonely". "Lonely" implies that you are missing interaction with others. When I'm alone, I generally breathe a sigh of relief because a lot of the time socialization is work for me, and it's work I'm not very good at. I'm almost never lonely when I'm alone, I'm too involved in whatever I'm doing. Even if I'm bored, I'm generally not lonely. I get more lonely when I'm in a group of people I don't really know well than I ever do when I'm alone in my own house. Mostly because I wish I knew them better than I do and wouldn't feel so left out.
- Razengan 7y agoSolitude: A voluntary disconnect. Pleasant. You can return to socializing whenever you want. Loneliness: Being alone against your choice, seemingly unable to change it, even when you are in contact with people.
- clucas 7y agoDonald Hall wrote beautifully about this: https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/double-solitude https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/double-solitu...
- telesilla 7y agoOh yes: "Now and then, especially at night, solitude loses its soft power and loneliness takes over. I am grateful when solitude returns."
- dominotw 7y agoI just did the same thing for 2.5 months. I got really lonely ..lol.