5 ms·

My problem with this is how can I verify my hookup is taking their meds and undetectable. Trust but verify doesn't seem to work here for hookups and one night s

My problem with this is how can I verify my hookup is taking their meds and undetectable. Trust but verify doesn't seem to work here for hookups and one night stands. The amount of positive guys on PrEP or even non-positive guys on PrEP who refuse condom sex seems to be greatly increasing. And it seems like there is now discrimination the other way; can't tell you how many times I've been pressured or refused or looked down upon for refusing non-condom sex or not going on PrEP myself.

r_singh 8y ago
This genuinely seems ridiculous, what kind of peer pressure is that!
- azinman2 8y ago
  All too common.
peterwwillis 8y ago
Well if anything, this is good for you, as you can avoid people who are clearly ignorant and unnecessarily risk-taking. They're probably not even considering things like the epidemic of antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea cases.
cblades 8y ago
At some point, you have to have hard lines. It's entirely reasonable to dictate what a sexual partner gets to do with and to your body. >can't tell you how many times I've been pressured or refused or looked down upon for refusing non-condom sex or not going on PrEP myself. Seems like a great social signal that those aren't people you need to bother with having in your life.
wan23 8y ago
You can't be positive and on PrEP. The protocol requires testing every three months, and in the very rare (so far cases number in the single digits) situation where it fails, the patient is moved to a more appropriate regimen.
- dillondoyle 8y ago
  and if they dont take their meds for a month in between this time period is my problem. not to mention other STIs
- dillondoyle 8y ago
  also sorry just re-reading. i typo-ed: e.g. positive guys that are on treatment (obviously not pre-exposure) and undetectable (which my point is I can't verify)
qazpot 8y ago
> My problem with this is how can I verify my hookup is taking their meds and undetectable. Trust but verify doesn't seem to work here for hookups and one night stands. It is simple. Do not have hookups with HIV+ people. Why are we normalizing this.

r_singh 8y ago

This genuinely seems ridiculous, what kind of peer pressure is that!

azinman2 8y ago
All too common.

peterwwillis 8y ago

Well if anything, this is good for you, as you can avoid people who are clearly ignorant and unnecessarily risk-taking. They're probably not even considering things like the epidemic of antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea cases.

cblades 8y ago

At some point, you have to have hard lines. It's entirely reasonable to dictate what a sexual partner gets to do with and to your body. >can't tell you how many times I've been pressured or refused or looked down upon for refusing non-condom sex or not going on PrEP myself. Seems like a great social signal that those aren't people you need to bother with having in your life.

wan23 8y ago

You can't be positive and on PrEP. The protocol requires testing every three months, and in the very rare (so far cases number in the single digits) situation where it fails, the patient is moved to a more appropriate regimen.

dillondoyle 8y ago
and if they dont take their meds for a month in between this time period is my problem. not to mention other STIs
dillondoyle 8y ago
also sorry just re-reading. i typo-ed: e.g. positive guys that are on treatment (obviously not pre-exposure) and undetectable (which my point is I can't verify)

qazpot 8y ago

> My problem with this is how can I verify my hookup is taking their meds and undetectable. Trust but verify doesn't seem to work here for hookups and one night stands. It is simple. Do not have hookups with HIV+ people. Why are we normalizing this.