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> we unlearn how to simply sit and be bored Yup.. personally I somehow feel it's "wrong" that I sit there and do nothing on the rare occasion I get the opportu

> we unlearn how to simply sit and be bored Yup.. personally I somehow feel it's "wrong" that I sit there and do nothing on the rare occasion I get the opportunity.

mrhappyunhappy 8y ago
There are times when I just want to sit or lay down and do nothing but my wife wont let me. When asked about her problem with this, she says it’s lazy not to do anything. Somehow doing nothing is wrong and everyone is conditioned to judge you for it.
- trevyn 8y ago
  I got a lot of freedom when I realized that other people’s judgements are often designed (sometimes subconsciously or culturally) simply to get you to do what they want you to do. It is quite in the benefit of other people and groups for you to be “productive”.
- jcadam 8y ago
  One of my pet peeves is when someone complains to me about being bored, as if their inability to occupy themselves is my fault and its my job to entertain them. My wife learned this about me early on (I'm an extreme introvert and can happily retreat into my own skull and stay there for hours at a time). Don't come to me and simply say "I'm bored." What am I supposed to do with that? If you have an idea of something you'd like to do that involves me, by all means just tell me. Otherwise, leave me alone.
  - dudul 8y ago
    Only boring people get bored. You should try this one on your wife :)
- nimonian 8y ago
  It's funny how couples' attitudes to idleness can conflict like this. I spent a good few years at the beginning of my relationship with my now wife defending my right to not appear to be doing anything. It took a long time for us to understand each other, and I think the hardest thing was feeling judged for simply being oneself and not performing in some way. Being alone and idle is a huge part of what makes me me.
threwawasy1228 8y ago
This is often how I feel. There have definitely been days when I just sat around doing nothing, but even on those days I find myself reading a book, practicing a language, writing down ideas, practicing music, and thinking about things that matter to me. I feel like not doing 'something' is a waste of time and brings me no value. Even in times when I am 'doing nothing' that I think of right now, I am generally at least walking or doing some exercise. I strongly recall going with my parents to the laundromat as a child and sitting there for 3 hrs straight on a chair. I had no phone, no book, no other kids in the building, and the arcade machines and other things all costed quarters that I didn't have. I would just sit there bored out of my skull, and I hated it more than anything else in the world. It wasn't like playing outside with friends where we could invent our own games, it was cold sterile nothing in a smelly building. When people complain about contemporary kids on their tablets or phones 24/7 and how this is bad I always think back to these times when I literally didn't even have a crayon to scribble with. The times I remember fondly of exploring/playing/running around the neighborhood/drawing/ fighting/ etc are more memorable, but in terms of objective measurement, were vastly outweighed by sitting doing literally nothing. I feel like people often view the world with rose-coloured glasses when they write these anti-screen messages.
- c0vfefe 8y ago
  > I feel like people often view the world with rose-coloured glasses when they write these anti-screen messages. With all due respect, perhaps they're viewing through the glasses of "not having neglectful and/or impoverished parents." A daily 3-hr purgatory, isolated from socialization or stimuli, will not to a kid any good.
nvusuvu 8y ago
I have a 40 minute commute. I have to resist the urge to fill the time with a podcast, radio, TedX. When I do, it's so nice to just let my mind wonder.
52-6F-62 8y ago
I had that experience (not myself) with a former girlfriend. She vocalized how she thought it was "so indulgent" to lie about for an hour on a late-summer Sunday afternoon in the city. I grew up in a small, small town and remember a time even in the 90s before there was internet access. And then a time when there was, but it was far from readily accessible. Entire days could be consumed by riding your bike on country roads past cornfields and sitting at the foot of waterfalls. There was nothing else to do. I read a lot. If that's indulgent I must be the most ugly glutton!

> we unlearn how to simply sit and be bored Yup.. personally I somehow feel it's "wrong" that I sit there and do nothing on the rare occasion I get the opportunity.

mrhappyunhappy 8y ago

There are times when I just want to sit or lay down and do nothing but my wife wont let me. When asked about her problem with this, she says it’s lazy not to do anything. Somehow doing nothing is wrong and everyone is conditioned to judge you for it.

trevyn 8y ago
I got a lot of freedom when I realized that other people’s judgements are often designed (sometimes subconsciously or culturally) simply to get you to do what they want you to do. It is quite in the benefit of other people and groups for you to be “productive”.
jcadam 8y ago
One of my pet peeves is when someone complains to me about being bored, as if their inability to occupy themselves is my fault and its my job to entertain them. My wife learned this about me early on (I'm an extreme introvert and can happily retreat into my own skull and stay there for hours at a time). Don't come to me and simply say "I'm bored." What am I supposed to do with that? If you have an idea of something you'd like to do that involves me, by all means just tell me. Otherwise, leave me alone.
- dudul 8y ago
  Only boring people get bored. You should try this one on your wife :)
nimonian 8y ago
It's funny how couples' attitudes to idleness can conflict like this. I spent a good few years at the beginning of my relationship with my now wife defending my right to not appear to be doing anything. It took a long time for us to understand each other, and I think the hardest thing was feeling judged for simply being oneself and not performing in some way. Being alone and idle is a huge part of what makes me me.

threwawasy1228 8y ago

This is often how I feel. There have definitely been days when I just sat around doing nothing, but even on those days I find myself reading a book, practicing a language, writing down ideas, practicing music, and thinking about things that matter to me. I feel like not doing 'something' is a waste of time and brings me no value. Even in times when I am 'doing nothing' that I think of right now, I am generally at least walking or doing some exercise. I strongly recall going with my parents to the laundromat as a child and sitting there for 3 hrs straight on a chair. I had no phone, no book, no other kids in the building, and the arcade machines and other things all costed quarters that I didn't have. I would just sit there bored out of my skull, and I hated it more than anything else in the world. It wasn't like playing outside with friends where we could invent our own games, it was cold sterile nothing in a smelly building. When people complain about contemporary kids on their tablets or phones 24/7 and how this is bad I always think back to these times when I literally didn't even have a crayon to scribble with. The times I remember fondly of exploring/playing/running around the neighborhood/drawing/ fighting/ etc are more memorable, but in terms of objective measurement, were vastly outweighed by sitting doing literally nothing. I feel like people often view the world with rose-coloured glasses when they write these anti-screen messages.

c0vfefe 8y ago
> I feel like people often view the world with rose-coloured glasses when they write these anti-screen messages. With all due respect, perhaps they're viewing through the glasses of "not having neglectful and/or impoverished parents." A daily 3-hr purgatory, isolated from socialization or stimuli, will not to a kid any good.

nvusuvu 8y ago

I have a 40 minute commute. I have to resist the urge to fill the time with a podcast, radio, TedX. When I do, it's so nice to just let my mind wonder.

52-6F-62 8y ago

I had that experience (not myself) with a former girlfriend. She vocalized how she thought it was "so indulgent" to lie about for an hour on a late-summer Sunday afternoon in the city. I grew up in a small, small town and remember a time even in the 90s before there was internet access. And then a time when there was, but it was far from readily accessible. Entire days could be consumed by riding your bike on country roads past cornfields and sitting at the foot of waterfalls. There was nothing else to do. I read a lot. If that's indulgent I must be the most ugly glutton!