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Lurker here, apologies for the throwaway acct. Today is the 2 year anniversary of my father's passing. I logged into his FB account a few months after he died
by 29aprthrowaway 8y ago
Lurker here, apologies for the throwaway acct.
Today is the 2 year anniversary of my father's passing. I logged into his FB account a few months after he died and my sister, who was online, saw a login notification and messaged "hello?". I quickly explained that it was me (I was given responsbility for organizing my father's digital assets post-mortem), and instead of being weirded out, she said it was comforting to be messaging with Dad's account and asked to chat for a while (we don't normally communicate much).
Slightly off-topic, but a couple related issues I've had that might be useful for others:
1. Recently someone impersonated my Dad on FB and starting messaging other family members. We were able to very quickly shut it down using FB's tools to flag impersonating accounts - although it felt particularly offensive to have someone impersonate your dead father for unknown, and likely unsavoury, purposes.
2. My dad's main email used a well-known email service that I won't name here but which also has a reputation for relatively poor spam filtering. Going through the incessant 100+ unfiltered daily spam emails from FB, Linkedin, Twitter, bank, airlines, tickets, everywhere he ever shopped, "Don't miss this!" etc in his Inbox made me realize that current screen-attention-capture economy is particularly ill-suited for the declining faculties of older adults. My Dad had early onset dementia and eventually lost the ability to use his email shortly before he passed, but I'd say his experience with the "Internet" in the few years before his passing was made significantly worse through overbearing ads and spam which in retrospect likely took hours of his day to go through as he became less and less able to exert his own agency to avoid. Definitely a regret that I didn't realize this at the time and set up a better system for him, tuned to his age/declining abilities.
3. It's hard to let go, at least for me, and I also found comfort in my Dad's digital leftovers...the idea that I was looking at representations of bits that were flipped because of him, even if trivial, stored all around the world. The best one was end of last year when that Breach Compilation password dump was released...I did a quick query for my Dad's email address and up popped his old password (since changed!) which was a very unique and meaningful word in our family. That made me smile.