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My nephews babysitter has Facetimed me from my dead sister's iPad accidentally a few times, very heartbreaking to see it pop up.

gowld 7y ago
The UI certainly is often poor, particularly in the FaceTime case, but as a general matter, being reminded of a late loved one gives random opportunities to remember, reminisce, and to speak of the departed to children and newer acquaintances, which honors their legacy.
- febeling 7y ago
  The avatars the various communication channels use online for their users stand in for the actual user an its actions. If they keep on acting after someone has deceased it’s weird to see. I’ve experienced it with my dad’s Skype account. I can’t see how that would be different for anybody in practice.
- moate 7y ago
  That's one take, but I can't agree with that. For one thing, what if it isn't a legacy you want to honor? Seeing comments from your dead abuser's account on facebook isn't something most people want. Death is complex and people/cultures have all sorts of different feelings on it. I don't want to get text messages from my dead sister or emails from my dead grandfather. It's creepy and weird and unsettling (even if just for that split second or two before you figure out wtf is happening). Hard pass.
- EnderViaAnsible 7y ago
  I think that your heart is in the right place with this comment, but you seem to be suggesting that this is the (only) right way to relate to death: to interpret reminders of the deceased as positive opportunities to remember with love. I think I agree that some people would benefit from a chance to this framing. However, I am not sure I agree that everyone will, or that those who prefer not to be reminded (particularly at random and unasked for) are turning up their nose at serendipity, as it were. For me and perhaps for others, I find set and setting to be very important when remembering the deceased. How, where, and when makes a big difference in how such remembrance makes me feel, and whether it helps with acceptance and closure or not. I find that intentional, set aside times for grieving rituals-- or celebration rituals, as is sometimes the case-- is the best approach. But being blindsided by loss hurts and profits little.

gowld 7y ago

The UI certainly is often poor, particularly in the FaceTime case, but as a general matter, being reminded of a late loved one gives random opportunities to remember, reminisce, and to speak of the departed to children and newer acquaintances, which honors their legacy.

febeling 7y ago
The avatars the various communication channels use online for their users stand in for the actual user an its actions. If they keep on acting after someone has deceased it’s weird to see. I’ve experienced it with my dad’s Skype account. I can’t see how that would be different for anybody in practice.
moate 7y ago
That's one take, but I can't agree with that. For one thing, what if it isn't a legacy you want to honor? Seeing comments from your dead abuser's account on facebook isn't something most people want. Death is complex and people/cultures have all sorts of different feelings on it. I don't want to get text messages from my dead sister or emails from my dead grandfather. It's creepy and weird and unsettling (even if just for that split second or two before you figure out wtf is happening). Hard pass.
EnderViaAnsible 7y ago
I think that your heart is in the right place with this comment, but you seem to be suggesting that this is the (only) right way to relate to death: to interpret reminders of the deceased as positive opportunities to remember with love. I think I agree that some people would benefit from a chance to this framing. However, I am not sure I agree that everyone will, or that those who prefer not to be reminded (particularly at random and unasked for) are turning up their nose at serendipity, as it were. For me and perhaps for others, I find set and setting to be very important when remembering the deceased. How, where, and when makes a big difference in how such remembrance makes me feel, and whether it helps with acceptance and closure or not. I find that intentional, set aside times for grieving rituals-- or celebration rituals, as is sometimes the case-- is the best approach. But being blindsided by loss hurts and profits little.