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> I am a physics graduate student and I spend literally every waking minute of my life in lab. It's really embarrassing to admit, but it's been 3 years since I
by sodepressed 7y ago
> I am a physics graduate student and I spend literally every waking minute of my life in lab. It's really embarrassing to admit, but it's been 3 years since I've had sex or had a social life outside of lab. This is self-imposed - I'm chasing a dream, but surely 3 years of complete isolation, devoid of intimacy of any kind can at least compare to being "left out of meetings"?
Woah there. Your lack of sex is NOT my problem. And you're also describing almost exactly my experience in grad school, for most of my time there. Get out of the lab. Make some friends and blow off some steam. Maybe hire a sex worker, if that's such a priority for you.
The situation at my company is ridiculous. Men are literally being assigned to do work on the very topic of my PhD thesis. They're bewildered by the complexity, and the smart ones come to me for help. The others just wing it, and get shit results quickly.
I'm not a PhD student. I have a PhD and a decade of professional experience. I make research proposals and they're silently handed to men, and I'm kept out of the loop until they get stuck and drop a stinking-hot emergency in my lap. My proposals include reasonable research outlooks and timelines. But they ignore my expertise and expect me to produce 6 months of research in a week. Which could be entirely avoided by inviting the subject expert to meetings about the research she kicked off.
My point about the overworked men is that they're working hard but not smart, while I'm under-utilized. We'd all be happier, the company would be more successful, if I was kept in the loop. Sexism is bad for everyone, oddly enough.
- mjfl 7y agoWow... I never said it was your problem, in fact I mentioned that my problems were "self-imposed". I simply stated that I have problems that exist as well, with comparable, or worse severity to yours, despite being male. I asked how you could so easily dismiss these problems. You then promptly dismissed my problems. Maybe people don't want to work with you because you have no social skills. Also the solution to your problems is a lot less drastic than “hire a sex worker”, it’s doing the more common action of leaving your job.
- icebraining 7y agoMaybe the response wasn't great, but "what about men" can get tiring to hear every single time anyone says something that non-exclusively affects women.
- xeeeeeeeeeeenu 7y agoThe OP of this subthread was the one who did "but what about women" first.
- icebraining 7y agoEh, I don't think so, since it was a comparison to a very different context. But I see how it can be read that way.
- sornorge 7y agoYour tone and language gives me the impression that you aren't that clever.
- chillacy 7y agoI understand there’s a point somewhere that’s halfway decent but you don’t win people over by attacking them.
- sodepressed 7y agoI guess that's how I felt about his comment, and I probably should have left alone
- deleted 7y ago[deleted]
- isodude 7y agoAre they all indivudally sexist or do the management actively push it down? In case of a management problem you may have a chance of turning each person to turn the tide? Everybody always knows stuff doesn't work optimal but does not have the guts to change it. That's why we need strong women.