You're having bad luck. I've never had a problem with Windows 7. I don't think you should be surprised that 16 months after launch, there are a lot of updates

You're having bad luck. I've never had a problem with Windows 7. I don't think you should be surprised that 16 months after launch, there are a lot of updates, and you not liking the ribbon UI doesn't make Windows a "horror show". If you were expecting a package manager then I have to assume you were just setting yourself up for disappointment - surely you know Windows doesn't have one.