There's also people whose natural tendencies are thoroughly self destructive. For instance, I know a person who doesn't feel like themselves at home. Their favo

There's also people whose natural tendencies are thoroughly self destructive. For instance, I know a person who doesn't feel like themselves at home. Their favorite moment in the world is when, after speaking at a tech conference and getting praise from random attendees, they get blasted in the after party with something legal or illegal, and have unprotected sex with multiple partners, at least some of which they just met that day, and probably won't remember in the morning. Their quest to feel more like themselves leads them to dozens of trips a year, while their children ask why they have such a demanding job. In practice, they hold their job because they have relations with said CEO, as coworkers know that complaining about their coworker's lack of productivity will lead to termination. And this is just one example. I have quite a few more of different flavors, all of which involve someone deciding that "being themselves" is all about destructive behavior. They don't lack EQ: In fact, I'd say almost all of them have very high EQs, but they are also either very damaged, or not very good people.