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What is an example of a person for whom this is terrible advice? I can only jokingly think of people who are naturally hostile or low on EQ. "They can't handle

What is an example of a person for whom this is terrible advice? I can only jokingly think of people who are naturally hostile or low on EQ. "They can't handle all this!" kind of people.

booleandilemma 7y ago
What is an example of a person for whom this is terrible advice? Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, etc.
- benj111 7y ago
  How do we know they were being themselves? Maybe Hitler's true self was being a painter, maybe the horrors of the trenches or Germanys humiliation pushed him to it? Maybe it was the rejection of not being able to sell any paintings.
  - booleandilemma 7y ago
    HN, the place on the web I can visit if I want to find people defending Hitler. You’re right benj111, maybe he was just misunderstood.
    - benj111 7y ago
      Lol, I'll take that as a compliment. I don't think I was defending him though? If he's killing millions of people whilst not being himself isn't that in some ways worse?
thr0waway43234 7y ago
There's also people whose natural tendencies are thoroughly self destructive. For instance, I know a person who doesn't feel like themselves at home. Their favorite moment in the world is when, after speaking at a tech conference and getting praise from random attendees, they get blasted in the after party with something legal or illegal, and have unprotected sex with multiple partners, at least some of which they just met that day, and probably won't remember in the morning. Their quest to feel more like themselves leads them to dozens of trips a year, while their children ask why they have such a demanding job. In practice, they hold their job because they have relations with said CEO, as coworkers know that complaining about their coworker's lack of productivity will lead to termination. And this is just one example. I have quite a few more of different flavors, all of which involve someone deciding that "being themselves" is all about destructive behavior. They don't lack EQ: In fact, I'd say almost all of them have very high EQs, but they are also either very damaged, or not very good people.
mwfunk 7y ago
Those are good examples actually. Basically, if someone really latches on to a "just be yourself and don't think about it" philosophy, they're cutting off their only source of feedback that could help them grow and mature socially. It's a good approach for someone who's already developed those social skills and wastes a lot of time second guessing themselves, but it's a terrible approach for someone who's really immature or unpolished. It gives them carte blanche to dismiss all conflicts and disagreements as being someone else's fault. I've known too many people who will formulate vast and complicated worldviews to explain away all their personal troubles, before they'll ever consider looking in the mirror and admitting that they might be able to improve some things about themselves. Example: incels and redpillers. They will change their view of the entire world before they consider changing their view of themselves. Someone who habitually blames everything on other people is unlikely to ever perceive their own faults, and may even embrace them rather than grow out of them.
firethief 7y ago
People who won't understand it, like many literalist commenters here, and the author of the article who took it as an excuse to continue acting like a solipsistic child

What is an example of a person for whom this is terrible advice? I can only jokingly think of people who are naturally hostile or low on EQ. "They can't handle all this!" kind of people.

booleandilemma 7y ago

What is an example of a person for whom this is terrible advice? Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, etc.

benj111 7y ago
How do we know they were being themselves? Maybe Hitler's true self was being a painter, maybe the horrors of the trenches or Germanys humiliation pushed him to it? Maybe it was the rejection of not being able to sell any paintings.
- booleandilemma 7y ago
  HN, the place on the web I can visit if I want to find people defending Hitler. You’re right benj111, maybe he was just misunderstood.
  - benj111 7y ago
    Lol, I'll take that as a compliment. I don't think I was defending him though? If he's killing millions of people whilst not being himself isn't that in some ways worse?

thr0waway43234 7y ago

There's also people whose natural tendencies are thoroughly self destructive. For instance, I know a person who doesn't feel like themselves at home. Their favorite moment in the world is when, after speaking at a tech conference and getting praise from random attendees, they get blasted in the after party with something legal or illegal, and have unprotected sex with multiple partners, at least some of which they just met that day, and probably won't remember in the morning. Their quest to feel more like themselves leads them to dozens of trips a year, while their children ask why they have such a demanding job. In practice, they hold their job because they have relations with said CEO, as coworkers know that complaining about their coworker's lack of productivity will lead to termination. And this is just one example. I have quite a few more of different flavors, all of which involve someone deciding that "being themselves" is all about destructive behavior. They don't lack EQ: In fact, I'd say almost all of them have very high EQs, but they are also either very damaged, or not very good people.

mwfunk 7y ago

Those are good examples actually. Basically, if someone really latches on to a "just be yourself and don't think about it" philosophy, they're cutting off their only source of feedback that could help them grow and mature socially. It's a good approach for someone who's already developed those social skills and wastes a lot of time second guessing themselves, but it's a terrible approach for someone who's really immature or unpolished. It gives them carte blanche to dismiss all conflicts and disagreements as being someone else's fault. I've known too many people who will formulate vast and complicated worldviews to explain away all their personal troubles, before they'll ever consider looking in the mirror and admitting that they might be able to improve some things about themselves. Example: incels and redpillers. They will change their view of the entire world before they consider changing their view of themselves. Someone who habitually blames everything on other people is unlikely to ever perceive their own faults, and may even embrace them rather than grow out of them.

firethief 7y ago

People who won't understand it, like many literalist commenters here, and the author of the article who took it as an excuse to continue acting like a solipsistic child