4 ms·

40+er here. I feel similarly. I wouldn't say I'm happier but I definitely worry a lot less about saying "no" and BS in general. What's weird to me is that I ne

by ok_coo 8y ago

40+er here. I feel similarly. I wouldn't say I'm happier but I definitely worry a lot less about saying "no" and BS in general. What's weird to me is that I never felt that transition happen. It just seems to have occurred over the last few years. A younger me had a real hard time saying no, now it's easy and liberating! I can't tell if it's an age thing or something else though.

bemmu 8y ago
38 and recently felt this transition happen. I realized that it's just as silly to constantly dwell on negative thoughts, as it would be on positive ones, so decided to try that for a few days. I don't think I can transmit this feeling by explaining it, since it's something you can only decide for yourself, but I made the choice to focus on the positive. I still keep the cynical realness in the back of my mind, should I need it, but I don't want to spend most of my time there anymore. It's been over a month now of much improved mood, hopefully this will stick.
- swozey 8y ago
  Getting into Buddhist philosophy has helped me a lot with this. I'm no bubbly positive spirit or anything but I feel much more content and present over the last few months where I've finally dove in. Ram Dass is known for saying something along the lines of "You spend all of your time loving or hating things. Why not just love everything. It's easier." If you're interested I'd recommend reading Thic Naht Hahn, Tolle, the Bhagavad Gita (get it with explanations, The Essence Of is great), etc. I've found that whether or not I practice the teachings just continuing to read about them keeps me mindful. And daily metta meditation.
sevensor 8y ago
Of a similar age. I've found that it's gotten way easier to have difficult conversations with people, and I attribute that to life experience and long-term perspective. A difficult conversation now can save ages of regret and ill will. Other people are responsible for their own feelings, even for their feelings about you. Sometimes you have to tell people things they don't want to hear. Things that will make them sad or angry. They may rage or cry. While sometimes those things are best left unsaid, other times you have to say them and face the consequences, knowing that it's better in the long run. The long run can be longer than you think.
ryall 8y ago
I'm a similar age to you and I feel that around 40 people start to detach from their ego. How people view you becomes less important, and as a result you become more comfortable in yourself.

by ok_coo 8y ago

bemmu 8y ago

38 and recently felt this transition happen. I realized that it's just as silly to constantly dwell on negative thoughts, as it would be on positive ones, so decided to try that for a few days. I don't think I can transmit this feeling by explaining it, since it's something you can only decide for yourself, but I made the choice to focus on the positive. I still keep the cynical realness in the back of my mind, should I need it, but I don't want to spend most of my time there anymore. It's been over a month now of much improved mood, hopefully this will stick.

swozey 8y ago
Getting into Buddhist philosophy has helped me a lot with this. I'm no bubbly positive spirit or anything but I feel much more content and present over the last few months where I've finally dove in. Ram Dass is known for saying something along the lines of "You spend all of your time loving or hating things. Why not just love everything. It's easier." If you're interested I'd recommend reading Thic Naht Hahn, Tolle, the Bhagavad Gita (get it with explanations, The Essence Of is great), etc. I've found that whether or not I practice the teachings just continuing to read about them keeps me mindful. And daily metta meditation.

sevensor 8y ago

Of a similar age. I've found that it's gotten way easier to have difficult conversations with people, and I attribute that to life experience and long-term perspective. A difficult conversation now can save ages of regret and ill will. Other people are responsible for their own feelings, even for their feelings about you. Sometimes you have to tell people things they don't want to hear. Things that will make them sad or angry. They may rage or cry. While sometimes those things are best left unsaid, other times you have to say them and face the consequences, knowing that it's better in the long run. The long run can be longer than you think.

ryall 8y ago

I'm a similar age to you and I feel that around 40 people start to detach from their ego. How people view you becomes less important, and as a result you become more comfortable in yourself.