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The article mentions social stigma to showing that you're unhappy, as if the stigma is wrong. To me, the stigma is natural behavior. Most people don't want to

by daenz 8y ago

The article mentions social stigma to showing that you're unhappy, as if the stigma is wrong. To me, the stigma is natural behavior. Most people don't want to be around people who are deeply depressed. It takes a lot of energy to counteract that. In my opinion, it can be contagious like happiness can be contagious. This is not to say that I don't think depressed people need help and support though. I guess what I'm getting at is that I don't understand what it would look like if outwardly showing your depression wasn't stigmatized. The only alternative I can come up with is that people would have to be totally apathetic to your happiness or your sadness.

PaulHoule 8y ago
I think also there are people who will take advantage if you show any form of weakness. Thus people have a good reason to not come clean about their feelings.
- tachyonbeam 8y ago
  Having been depressed, I think the main fear people have is of pushing people away. If you're not "fun", people won't want to spend time with you. Your friends will support you for a bit, but they have limited patience too. Comforting someone who's feeling down takes energy, and you know very well that there's a limit to how much of that you can ask other people to do for you. There's some kind of balance to be had. I find that I can express my sadness, but I have to be mindful that when I hang out with friends, even when I'm feeling down, I don't make it all about me. I have to still try to be a good friend and listen, etc. Avoid being someone who's emotionally draining to be around. Friendship is an exchange.
asveikau 8y ago
The problem is that what you describe as "natural" stigma reenforces the problem, as people feel stigmatized and rejected and go deeper in their isolation and problems. I think part of the solution is actually for people who express your opinion to get over themselves, and realize for example how you just said happiness can be contagious in a similar way, so why not decide to be a contagion for good rather than dismiss someone as a contagion for bad. That won't fix your friends' problems totally but it goes further than people realize.

by daenz 8y ago

PaulHoule 8y ago

I think also there are people who will take advantage if you show any form of weakness. Thus people have a good reason to not come clean about their feelings.

tachyonbeam 8y ago
Having been depressed, I think the main fear people have is of pushing people away. If you're not "fun", people won't want to spend time with you. Your friends will support you for a bit, but they have limited patience too. Comforting someone who's feeling down takes energy, and you know very well that there's a limit to how much of that you can ask other people to do for you. There's some kind of balance to be had. I find that I can express my sadness, but I have to be mindful that when I hang out with friends, even when I'm feeling down, I don't make it all about me. I have to still try to be a good friend and listen, etc. Avoid being someone who's emotionally draining to be around. Friendship is an exchange.

asveikau 8y ago

The problem is that what you describe as "natural" stigma reenforces the problem, as people feel stigmatized and rejected and go deeper in their isolation and problems. I think part of the solution is actually for people who express your opinion to get over themselves, and realize for example how you just said happiness can be contagious in a similar way, so why not decide to be a contagion for good rather than dismiss someone as a contagion for bad. That won't fix your friends' problems totally but it goes further than people realize.