You're putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself. You are not responsible for the culture except for how you contribute to it. You are not responsible

You're putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself. You are not responsible for the culture except for how you contribute to it. You are not responsible for future engineers. You are not responsible for your friends' decisions. You need to do what makes you happy. It really is that simple. Get out of the tub, call a friend, go out and have some fun!