4 ms·

You know, some people say a woman mind is a mystery, but this thread is making me think that some guys simply don't make any effort to actually understand what

by lhorie 16y ago

You know, some people say a woman mind is a mystery, but this thread is making me think that some guys simply don't make any effort to actually understand what women mean when they say something clear and to the point...

tome 16y ago
In my opinion she's anything but clear. She doesn't explain, for example, when she gets asked out on a date (is that exactly what she's suggesting these men are doing -- it's again not clear) why can she just not say "no thanks" and leave it at that?
- lhorie 16y ago
  I fail to see how "when we’re at a business networking event, and we exchange cards? Yeah, that’s not me ‘giving you my number’." is not clear. Got the business card, don't call her for a date. It's not rocket science... >> why can she just not say "no thanks" You don't rant when some business contact you just met asks you if you'd like to go hit a gay pub later. You do it after it has happened for the hundredth time this month.
  - tome 16y ago
    If it's happened to her hundreds of times in a month, then yes, I'd say that the men she's been meeting are out of tune with reality.
    - lhorie 16y ago
      Why do you say they are out of tune with reality only after a hundred (or whatever) men asked her out? It's not like women advertise how many inappropriate requests they have turned down.
- parfe 16y ago
  >In my opinion she's anything but clear. Seriously? You miss her saying that trading business cards is not an invitation for personal contact? I found it blatantly obvious that she finds direct flirting acceptable while the subterfuge of faking a professional interaction to acquire contact information to be creepy and spineless. I think a lot of people here are taking this woman's complaint personally which is actually quite funny.
  - tome 16y ago
    Fine, so those who read her blog won't be asking her out on a date, but it shouldn't hold them back from asking out other women who they think might be more receptive to the same approach. This is her personal opinion and personal taste, not a guidebook to women.
grammaton 16y ago
Plenty of people make every effort to understand what they mean - but it doesn't work so well when the woman is saying one thing and lacing it with tons of subtext that say something else.
- lhorie 16y ago
  From the TFA: >> when we’re at a business networking event, and we exchange cards You're really stretching the definition of subtext if you're suggesting that a woman giving you her business card actually means she wants to get personal with you.
  - grammaton 16y ago
    I can't speak to what actually happens when she's at one of these events since I'm not there. But given that her whole blog is a coy, disingenuous photo-shoot, I have to say I look askance at this woman in particular. It's not difficult to imagine her interpersonal style being similar. That's where the above comment was coming from.
    - parfe 16y ago
      Here's another site full of photoshoots of the writer. Think he's asking for personal contact if he hands out his business card? http://stallman.org/photos/rms-working/ http://stallman.org/photos/rms-working/
      - grammaton 16y ago
        False analogy. There's a world of difference between a tech nobody (in her own words) and a very well known, established programmer with decades of experience who is seen as an authority in the field. At that point you are, to some extent, a media personality as well, and that sort of behavior is a somewhat more understandable.
        parfe 16y ago

by lhorie 16y ago

tome 16y ago

In my opinion she's anything but clear. She doesn't explain, for example, when she gets asked out on a date (is that exactly what she's suggesting these men are doing -- it's again not clear) why can she just not say "no thanks" and leave it at that?

lhorie 16y ago
I fail to see how "when we’re at a business networking event, and we exchange cards? Yeah, that’s not me ‘giving you my number’." is not clear. Got the business card, don't call her for a date. It's not rocket science... >> why can she just not say "no thanks" You don't rant when some business contact you just met asks you if you'd like to go hit a gay pub later. You do it after it has happened for the hundredth time this month.
- tome 16y ago
  If it's happened to her hundreds of times in a month, then yes, I'd say that the men she's been meeting are out of tune with reality.
  - lhorie 16y ago
    Why do you say they are out of tune with reality only after a hundred (or whatever) men asked her out? It's not like women advertise how many inappropriate requests they have turned down.
parfe 16y ago
>In my opinion she's anything but clear. Seriously? You miss her saying that trading business cards is not an invitation for personal contact? I found it blatantly obvious that she finds direct flirting acceptable while the subterfuge of faking a professional interaction to acquire contact information to be creepy and spineless. I think a lot of people here are taking this woman's complaint personally which is actually quite funny.
- tome 16y ago
  Fine, so those who read her blog won't be asking her out on a date, but it shouldn't hold them back from asking out other women who they think might be more receptive to the same approach. This is her personal opinion and personal taste, not a guidebook to women.

grammaton 16y ago

Plenty of people make every effort to understand what they mean - but it doesn't work so well when the woman is saying one thing and lacing it with tons of subtext that say something else.

lhorie 16y ago
From the TFA: >> when we’re at a business networking event, and we exchange cards You're really stretching the definition of subtext if you're suggesting that a woman giving you her business card actually means she wants to get personal with you.
- grammaton 16y ago
  I can't speak to what actually happens when she's at one of these events since I'm not there. But given that her whole blog is a coy, disingenuous photo-shoot, I have to say I look askance at this woman in particular. It's not difficult to imagine her interpersonal style being similar. That's where the above comment was coming from.
  - parfe 16y ago
    Here's another site full of photoshoots of the writer. Think he's asking for personal contact if he hands out his business card? http://stallman.org/photos/rms-working/ http://stallman.org/photos/rms-working/
    - grammaton 16y ago
      False analogy. There's a world of difference between a tech nobody (in her own words) and a very well known, established programmer with decades of experience who is seen as an authority in the field. At that point you are, to some extent, a media personality as well, and that sort of behavior is a somewhat more understandable.
      - parfe 16y ago