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You mention scenes. Perhaps that is the key. I went through life without ever having to be in groups of people where any of this is warranted. Perhaps if you ar
by vvpan 8y ago
You mention scenes. Perhaps that is the key. I went through life without ever having to be in groups of people where any of this is warranted. Perhaps if you are involved in scenes with a high percentage of people with extreme social inaptitude - there is no way around it?
- FakeComments 8y agoI think I came across as more disparaging to codes of conduct and those kinds of things than I meant to — they certainly have a place. One example where you’d want one, where everyone has high social skills, is during a negotiating summit: you want to clearly define the boundaries of when and where are appropriate to negotiate, not because people would be offended, but because people have different (valid) expectations and it helps to established a shared set of norms upfront, to ease the contentiousness later. If I tried to do the same for my friends negotiating where to eat tonight, they’d all pretty quickly agree the answer was somewhere I wasn’t. I think it has more to do with the scale and conflict inherent in the gathering, rather than social aptitude, per se. The smaller and more aligned the group, the less useful formal process is.