4 ms·

I see you're adding a fair amount of your own cultural bias, which you do recognize. You also recognize that there are other cultures where poeple value small t

I see you're adding a fair amount of your own cultural bias, which you do recognize. You also recognize that there are other cultures where poeple value small talk. The best solution might be to be inclusive and meet in the middle: - Hi - Hi, how are you? How can I help? - <here they can quickly reply how they are and ask the question> WDYT?

GordonS 8y ago
Firstly, the first "Hi" is a distraction, and pressure to respond without know the urgency, or anything else about what the issue is. Secondly, and assuming this is a random co-worker rather than a friend, why is "how are you?" in the response when you don't actually care, and possibly don't even know the person?
- notimetorelax 8y ago
  Again, you interpret everything through your prism. Sometimes it’s worth to be more empathetic and just go with it. This book taught me to value my cultural norms less and be more accepting of others: “The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business”
  - caymanjim 8y ago
    Why is it that Americans are supposed to bend their cultural norms to accept others in the workplace, and at the same time, while working abroad, are supposed to fully adopt the culture norms of someone else's workplace? This is never a clear-cut, all-or-nothing scenario, but I don't think I should have to accept all the baggage that someone brings with them. If I'm living or working overseas (which I've done), I'm happy to adopt local rituals and norms (or go through the motions when I disagree). I expect others to do the same when they come to my country.
    - notimetorelax 8y ago
      I think all parties should be working towards better understanding of each other. It's a fallacy to expect others (no matter what side) to behave completely within the norms of another culture, we will be always tone deaf to some nuances. E.g. in the chapter on feedback the author writes that it's very dangerous to try to simulate German or Dutch directness during criticism, so even when working with Dutch or German it's best to keep within the limits of your own upbrigning. This is why I suggested to adapt response depending on the signal, if you see someone pinging you with "Hi" the most productive thing is to be accepting. After helping them, you can always educate the other person to ask the question directly. P.S. I'm not american, don't leave in US, don't work in US. This is a universal problem of any multi-cultural or even single-culture multi-background environment.
      - GordonS 8y ago
        > After helping them, you can always educate the other person to ask the question directly For some reason, I've never actually considered that. I guess it might be tricky to word without seeming rude, but is totally doable. Only issue (for me personally) is that I work for a faceless megacorp that employs > 250k people, so I'd need to do rather a lot of educating :)

GordonS 8y ago

Firstly, the first "Hi" is a distraction, and pressure to respond without know the urgency, or anything else about what the issue is. Secondly, and assuming this is a random co-worker rather than a friend, why is "how are you?" in the response when you don't actually care, and possibly don't even know the person?

notimetorelax 8y ago
Again, you interpret everything through your prism. Sometimes it’s worth to be more empathetic and just go with it. This book taught me to value my cultural norms less and be more accepting of others: “The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business”
- caymanjim 8y ago
  Why is it that Americans are supposed to bend their cultural norms to accept others in the workplace, and at the same time, while working abroad, are supposed to fully adopt the culture norms of someone else's workplace? This is never a clear-cut, all-or-nothing scenario, but I don't think I should have to accept all the baggage that someone brings with them. If I'm living or working overseas (which I've done), I'm happy to adopt local rituals and norms (or go through the motions when I disagree). I expect others to do the same when they come to my country.
  - notimetorelax 8y ago
    I think all parties should be working towards better understanding of each other. It's a fallacy to expect others (no matter what side) to behave completely within the norms of another culture, we will be always tone deaf to some nuances. E.g. in the chapter on feedback the author writes that it's very dangerous to try to simulate German or Dutch directness during criticism, so even when working with Dutch or German it's best to keep within the limits of your own upbrigning. This is why I suggested to adapt response depending on the signal, if you see someone pinging you with "Hi" the most productive thing is to be accepting. After helping them, you can always educate the other person to ask the question directly. P.S. I'm not american, don't leave in US, don't work in US. This is a universal problem of any multi-cultural or even single-culture multi-background environment.
    - GordonS 8y ago
      > After helping them, you can always educate the other person to ask the question directly For some reason, I've never actually considered that. I guess it might be tricky to word without seeming rude, but is totally doable. Only issue (for me personally) is that I work for a faceless megacorp that employs > 250k people, so I'd need to do rather a lot of educating :)