5 ms·

I'm a 22 year old immigrant to Canada. Moved there when I was 13. Starting grade 10 I started working, I paid my phone bill, transportation and most other expe

I'm a 22 year old immigrant to Canada. Moved there when I was 13. Starting grade 10 I started working, I paid my phone bill, transportation and most other expenses (except of course food and room) I have worked my way through university, bought a car, and will graduate with $20k in student loans that will vanish once I get my sign-on bonus in two months while making more that 2x of my whole household combined. It's very much possible to move up the social ladder in my eyes. Am I a low life? What should I feel indebted about. I'm grateful for their support of my life path, but most people don't have the privilege of living cozy lives.

astrodust 8y ago
When you express it this way you come across sounding like an ungrateful little jerk.
- pmalynin 8y ago
  You're assuming I don't do anything around the house, don't buy any food, or help my family because a person can only help their family because of indebtedness. I pay $500 every month for my father healthcare, even though I haven't seen him in over 10 years now. This is for the person that I clearly remember beating me as a child. So lets not start about being ungrateful, you know nothing about my life. Your supposition probably says more about yourself than me. But thanks for the ad hominem.
  - astrodust 8y ago
    This context entirely changes the tone of your comment. I'm sorry you had to go through that. The problem is there's far too many entitled people who haven't endured hardship, who have received nothing but support, and describe their situation exactly as you have, that insist they owe your parents nothing. I was trying to convey how your comment sounded, not who you are.
  - jayalpha 8y ago
    "I pay $500 every month for my father healthcare, even though I haven't seen him in over 10 years now." Would you mind explaining: 1. Do you have to pay this? (By law, in some countries you have) 2. Do you pay voluntarily?
    - pmalynin 8y ago
      Not that I want to discuss family matters on here... He remained behind because my mother remarried when I was 10, lost his job because of the war and increasingly worsening economic conditions and inflation. If I wasn't paying voluntarily it is very likely he would be begging on the streets without an apartment and anyone to take care of him. I do no want that on my hands. So no and yes.
    - true_religion 8y ago
      He is in Canada---that's not one of those countries.
- illvm 8y ago
  The child didn't choose to be in existence. Being born shouldn't equate to some sort of servitude until your parents pass. In many countries, the parents are legally obligated to provide those things until the child comes of age. You have no information about the parents or the child to make any reasonable assertion on whether or not someone should show gratitude. For example, the parents could have provided an abusive home, and scraps of food.
- sctb 8y ago
  Personal attacks are not OK on this site. You've done this before; could you please review the guidelines and stop? https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
  - astrodust 8y ago
    I phrased it badly, as I was trying to express how that came across.

astrodust 8y ago

When you express it this way you come across sounding like an ungrateful little jerk.

pmalynin 8y ago
You're assuming I don't do anything around the house, don't buy any food, or help my family because a person can only help their family because of indebtedness. I pay $500 every month for my father healthcare, even though I haven't seen him in over 10 years now. This is for the person that I clearly remember beating me as a child. So lets not start about being ungrateful, you know nothing about my life. Your supposition probably says more about yourself than me. But thanks for the ad hominem.
- astrodust 8y ago
  This context entirely changes the tone of your comment. I'm sorry you had to go through that. The problem is there's far too many entitled people who haven't endured hardship, who have received nothing but support, and describe their situation exactly as you have, that insist they owe your parents nothing. I was trying to convey how your comment sounded, not who you are.
- jayalpha 8y ago
  "I pay $500 every month for my father healthcare, even though I haven't seen him in over 10 years now." Would you mind explaining: 1. Do you have to pay this? (By law, in some countries you have) 2. Do you pay voluntarily?
  - pmalynin 8y ago
    Not that I want to discuss family matters on here... He remained behind because my mother remarried when I was 10, lost his job because of the war and increasingly worsening economic conditions and inflation. If I wasn't paying voluntarily it is very likely he would be begging on the streets without an apartment and anyone to take care of him. I do no want that on my hands. So no and yes.
  - true_religion 8y ago
    He is in Canada---that's not one of those countries.
illvm 8y ago
The child didn't choose to be in existence. Being born shouldn't equate to some sort of servitude until your parents pass. In many countries, the parents are legally obligated to provide those things until the child comes of age. You have no information about the parents or the child to make any reasonable assertion on whether or not someone should show gratitude. For example, the parents could have provided an abusive home, and scraps of food.
sctb 8y ago
Personal attacks are not OK on this site. You've done this before; could you please review the guidelines and stop? https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
- astrodust 8y ago
  I phrased it badly, as I was trying to express how that came across.