6 ms·

Of the relationships where you should be sending people a birthday message, do you have all of their birthdays memorized, or do you use a calendar? I dont reall

Of the relationships where you should be sending people a birthday message, do you have all of their birthdays memorized, or do you use a calendar? I dont really see the difference between using facebook or a gmail calendar for reminders such as these. I'll agree that the simple "Happy Birthday" messages people post on facebook are trite, but rather frequently I'm reminded that it's someone's birthday via facebook and then text or call the person.

reaperducer 8y ago
Of the relationships where you should be sending people a birthday message, do you have all of their birthdays memorized, or do you use a calendar? I'm not the OP, but yes, I have a calendar with people's birthdays in it. Every computer since the 1980's comes with a calendar program, and now they sync to your mobile phone, so there's no need to pass responsibility for that sort of thing to Facebook. I also send (gasp) paper birthday and Christmas cards to the people who mean a lot to me. And from what they tell me, getting a real card in the mail means a million times more to them, since they know I took time out of my life to think of them and didn't just click a button and move on.
- dingaling 8y ago
  But you bought a pre-produced, mass-printed card that someone else designed. Not very personal. How is that much different from a clicky-greeting on Facebook, other than cost?
  - x0x0 8y ago
    Effort.
- zimpenfish 8y ago
  > but yes, I have a calendar with people's birthdays in it. Me too, it's called Facebook. > I also send (gasp) paper birthday and Christmas cards to the people who mean a lot to me. Same but for those people who haven't shared their addresses , a Facebook post and/or message suffices.
onion2k 8y ago
The difference between Facebook and a calendar is that adding someone's birthday to my calendar requires effort. I need to find out when their birthday is, and I need to set up a reminder. It's a small but important difference.
- mehrdadn 8y ago
  Not sure why you were downvoted, this is a pretty crucial difference.
  - lozaning 8y ago
    Never in my life of wishing people happy birthday have they inquired as to my birthday record keeping methodology. Nor have I ever asked anyone that sent me a happy birthday text or call how they knew. What matters is what you do once it's someone's birthday, not how you found out or keep track.
    - mehrdadn 8y ago
      I mean, just because nobody explicitly inquires about something doesn't mean it's irrelevant. If you got a gift from an old friend (or even a happy birthday message) and then somehow found out it was only because someone else had pressured them into doing that, would it mean the same thing to you as if it had been their own independent decision? Most people wouldn't...
      - lozaning 8y ago
        Facebook doesn't pressure me into saying happy birthday any more than your gcal or other alternate means of birthday tracking does. To me this is markedly different than your scenario where Bob nags Alice until she relents and wishes me happy birthday.
        mehrdadn 8y ago
        > Facebook doesn't pressure me into saying happy birthday any more than your gcal or other alternate means of birthday tracking does. Your gcal says "Wish your friends a happy birthday!" above a box it pops up for you to do so?
chongli 8y ago
I dont really see the difference between using facebook or a gmail calendar for reminders such as these. The difference is that you consciously choose whose birthdays you enter into your calendar. Facebook just assumes anyone you know is close enough.
hokobomo 8y ago
> do you have all of their birthdays memorized I surely do. It's not a problem to memorize a few numbers related to the people significant to me enough to send them a birthday message. The Dunbar numbers go around 3-5, 9-15, 30-45 [0], so even "the 2nd tier" relationships' birthdays are not really that hard to remember [0] https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/abs/10.1098/rspb.2004.2970 https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/abs/10.1098/rspb.2004...

reaperducer 8y ago

Of the relationships where you should be sending people a birthday message, do you have all of their birthdays memorized, or do you use a calendar? I'm not the OP, but yes, I have a calendar with people's birthdays in it. Every computer since the 1980's comes with a calendar program, and now they sync to your mobile phone, so there's no need to pass responsibility for that sort of thing to Facebook. I also send (gasp) paper birthday and Christmas cards to the people who mean a lot to me. And from what they tell me, getting a real card in the mail means a million times more to them, since they know I took time out of my life to think of them and didn't just click a button and move on.

dingaling 8y ago
But you bought a pre-produced, mass-printed card that someone else designed. Not very personal. How is that much different from a clicky-greeting on Facebook, other than cost?
- x0x0 8y ago
  Effort.
zimpenfish 8y ago
> but yes, I have a calendar with people's birthdays in it. Me too, it's called Facebook. > I also send (gasp) paper birthday and Christmas cards to the people who mean a lot to me. Same but for those people who haven't shared their addresses , a Facebook post and/or message suffices.

onion2k 8y ago

The difference between Facebook and a calendar is that adding someone's birthday to my calendar requires effort. I need to find out when their birthday is, and I need to set up a reminder. It's a small but important difference.

mehrdadn 8y ago
Not sure why you were downvoted, this is a pretty crucial difference.
- lozaning 8y ago
  Never in my life of wishing people happy birthday have they inquired as to my birthday record keeping methodology. Nor have I ever asked anyone that sent me a happy birthday text or call how they knew. What matters is what you do once it's someone's birthday, not how you found out or keep track.
  - mehrdadn 8y ago
    I mean, just because nobody explicitly inquires about something doesn't mean it's irrelevant. If you got a gift from an old friend (or even a happy birthday message) and then somehow found out it was only because someone else had pressured them into doing that, would it mean the same thing to you as if it had been their own independent decision? Most people wouldn't...
    - lozaning 8y ago
      Facebook doesn't pressure me into saying happy birthday any more than your gcal or other alternate means of birthday tracking does. To me this is markedly different than your scenario where Bob nags Alice until she relents and wishes me happy birthday.
      - mehrdadn 8y ago
        > Facebook doesn't pressure me into saying happy birthday any more than your gcal or other alternate means of birthday tracking does. Your gcal says "Wish your friends a happy birthday!" above a box it pops up for you to do so?

chongli 8y ago

I dont really see the difference between using facebook or a gmail calendar for reminders such as these. The difference is that you consciously choose whose birthdays you enter into your calendar. Facebook just assumes anyone you know is close enough.

hokobomo 8y ago

> do you have all of their birthdays memorized I surely do. It's not a problem to memorize a few numbers related to the people significant to me enough to send them a birthday message. The Dunbar numbers go around 3-5, 9-15, 30-45 [0], so even "the 2nd tier" relationships' birthdays are not really that hard to remember [0] https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/abs/10.1098/rspb.2004.2970 https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/abs/10.1098/rspb.2004...