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> There is nothing even close to an economy around sex. Absolutely wrong. Dating is one of the most efficient markets. Every individual decides who they will s

> There is nothing even close to an economy around sex. Absolutely wrong. Dating is one of the most efficient markets. Every individual decides who they will sleep with, date and marry based on a hierarchy of what they can get, what they think they're worth and how attractive they find the other person. There is far more agreement than disagreement in standards of attractiveness from person to person, if not, it would be fairly easy to go out and date just anyone. But no one wants to do that. Everyone tries to date the most attractive person they can get.

ajkjk 8y ago
I dispute the word "everyone": I think it's a fraction of adults, probably less than a quarter, who fit into that system (I was maybe being extreme by saying "there is no market", but I don't think there's _much_ of one). And I think that people who _do_ "play the dating game" don't realize how many don't. Among people going on dates every week, perhaps there is an economy. Among people who don't go on dates because they don't really try, because optimizing for partner-finding isn't even on their radar -- of course there is not a market there. [.. edited to be less combative]
- insickness 8y ago
  Just because some people choose to exclude themselves from the dating market doesn't mean that the market doesn't exist. Everyone has standards of exclusivity when dating, even if they are only excluding the people who are very very physically unattractive, mentally unattractive, least capable, unintelligent, boring, etc. Not everyone uses the same exact standard to judge everyone else's attractiveness. For example, women on average tend to be less focused on physical attractiveness. But even when a woman is attracted to someone physically unattractive, that person usually has some time of other factor of attractiveness, such as status or personality, which other women find attractive as well. There are exceptions but the fact that those exceptions are so few and far between only proves the rule.
  - ajkjk 8y ago
    My point is that attractiveness, and any market forces around it, are pretty secondary if people aren't even _trying_ to have relationships. Which, I think, they are not, in massive proportions. There is (I believe) a significant fraction of young people who meet fewer than one person they're interested in per month. That's not losing to market forces; it's just not participating. Among active participants, sure, there might be a market, but if you want to figure out why people aren't having sex, look at why so many people aren't participating.

ajkjk 8y ago

I dispute the word "everyone": I think it's a fraction of adults, probably less than a quarter, who fit into that system (I was maybe being extreme by saying "there is no market", but I don't think there's _much_ of one). And I think that people who _do_ "play the dating game" don't realize how many don't. Among people going on dates every week, perhaps there is an economy. Among people who don't go on dates because they don't really try, because optimizing for partner-finding isn't even on their radar -- of course there is not a market there. [.. edited to be less combative]

insickness 8y ago
Just because some people choose to exclude themselves from the dating market doesn't mean that the market doesn't exist. Everyone has standards of exclusivity when dating, even if they are only excluding the people who are very very physically unattractive, mentally unattractive, least capable, unintelligent, boring, etc. Not everyone uses the same exact standard to judge everyone else's attractiveness. For example, women on average tend to be less focused on physical attractiveness. But even when a woman is attracted to someone physically unattractive, that person usually has some time of other factor of attractiveness, such as status or personality, which other women find attractive as well. There are exceptions but the fact that those exceptions are so few and far between only proves the rule.
- ajkjk 8y ago
  My point is that attractiveness, and any market forces around it, are pretty secondary if people aren't even _trying_ to have relationships. Which, I think, they are not, in massive proportions. There is (I believe) a significant fraction of young people who meet fewer than one person they're interested in per month. That's not losing to market forces; it's just not participating. Among active participants, sure, there might be a market, but if you want to figure out why people aren't having sex, look at why so many people aren't participating.