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While dating apps probably have a role to play, I doubt that the problem is limited to them. I think this is a lot of small things adding up over time. 1. Vide
by Mirioron 8y ago
While dating apps probably have a role to play, I doubt that the problem is limited to them. I think this is a lot of small things adding up over time.
1. Video games give us fulfillment. If the reason you're looking for intimate relationships is fulfillment in life and video games partly fill that hole, then you're less likely to look for intimate relationships. Men tend to make up a much greater share of games that require a large time investment ("hardcore games").
2. Social media gives us some human contact, but it rarely leads to intimate contact. It scratches the itch of human interaction without needing us to leave the room.
3. Porn. The easy access to porn means that there's less of a reason to search for intimate contact. Men tend to be visual. When you're online, then images of a beautiful woman are only a few clicks away. It doesn't come with any of the baggage relationships come with either.
3. Dating apps. Women on dating apps seem to be harsher when judging the attractiveness of men than men are. This leads to a situation where average looking men will find it harder to find intimate partners on these services. They can't really make up for it by being smart or witty either.
4. Relationships are difficult to start. If a man approaches a woman and fails, then (sometimes) he's considered creepy. In many cases it's simply a misreading of expectations. For example, some women think that a man should always approach first, but some women think that unless a woman explicitly shows interest then a man approaching her is creepy. It's risky for a man to start the interaction, so they are more apprehensive.
At least this is the impression that I got based on what I've seen online, particularly Twitter.
5. Divorce. In many of the stories you hear about separation and divorce, it's the man that gets shafted. Women are more likely to get the kids and, at least in the stories, they might get a large alimony too. This means that the man would be severely hampered in any future relationships they seek, because some of their income goes to the former spouse.
Some men add these together and then ask themselves "why bother?" Why risk approaching a woman, if instead you could be playing video games? They are as much fun, and hey, chances are that she wouldn't be into you anyway. As a result, some men opt out from this part of society.
I'm sure there are many other small issues like this that I couldn't think of, but these are certainly things that made me question whether relationships are even worth it. Every time you hear about things like "toxic masculinity" or some such it ever so slightly chips away at some men's interest in participating in society. The small chips have added up. Couple that with compelling alternatives on how to spend your time and I think you get the result we have.
You could also argue that we're simply following in the footsteps of Japan.
- watwut 8y agoAs for 5: men get richer after divorce on average, women poorer. However, women report higher happiness after divorce while men lower. Then again, men are more likely to find new partner faster. Not surprisingly, women who have jobs are more likely to ask for divorce and women who depend on husbands salary less so. For all the stories about large alimony, such situation not the norm.
- Mirioron 8y agoWhether it is or is not the norm isn't even as important. What matters is what people perceive as the norm.
- watwut 8y agoGood point. But married men have more sex and unmarried have less of it. And sex now days does not lead to marriage unless you want marriage. So I would expect divorce issues not to influence causual sex rates, but rather marriage rates.
- Sylamore 8y agoDeadbedrooms are a thing as well. Being married limits your (ethical) options if for any reason your partner suddenly decides to no longer engage in physical intimacy.
- watwut 8y agoYes. But right now I am referring to this very set of statistics that says that married have more sex then unmarried.
- thatoneuser 8y agoTbf I would assume if that's true it's because the men feel the need to achieve more. Thus women still do get more on alimony and child support but the men focus more on a career.
- 8y ago