3 ms·

My napkin paper theory is that for nonmarital* sex the internet has made it easier for people to find partners, with the overall effect that the bottom ~1/3 of

My napkin paper theory is that for nonmarital* sex the internet has made it easier for people to find partners, with the overall effect that the bottom ~1/3 of men cannot find partners. Generally women are more selective than men when it comes to casual sex, and desirable men are usually willing to have sex with multiple partners. I recall studies that found that the top 20% of men on dating platforms account for 80% of the matches. I suspect that the drop in rates of no sex later in life is because that is the age when people start to get married (late 20s, 30s). Unlike the casual sex market, marriage is generally 1:1 so 80:20 dynamic flattens out. \* I'm using "nonmarital" here to refer to sex outside of a long-tern committed relationship. I originally referred to this as "casual sex" but I think that may be more loaded than what I'm looking for. Edit: "extramarital" -> "nonmarital" as per respondent's suggestion

dragonwriter 8y ago
“extramarital” sex usually means sex by a married person with someone other than their spouse; I think “nonmarital” is a better term for what you are discussing.
esturk 8y ago
Yes, women controls the access to sex but of the men that do get the sex, those men controls the access to the relationship. See it really is supply and demand. If a stud can get access to so many women, why would he commit so easily to just any relationship? Like the tech job market, you have top companies getting most of the applicants and being super selective. Eventually, some women will have to settle on a lesser company or University.
- distant_hat 8y ago
  In my (limited) experience, I see women separating the two. They have sex with the unavailable stud and have the relationship with some beta guy or their girlfriends.
michaelmrose 8y ago
If men in the bottom 20% want sex they can take steps to increase their position including losing weight, hitting the gym, working on getting a better paid job. Alternatively they can offer a greater degree of commitment to female bottom 20%ers who presumably ALSO aren't getting a lot of casual interaction.
- MRD85 8y ago
  I don't know why you're downvoted. When I was young (18-22) I had no luck with women. I think I literally went 3 years straight in that range without a sexual partner. I was on the verge of becoming an angry, resentful man. I discovered some precursor to The Red Pill and I took the self-improvement advice. I realised the fault wasn't with women, I was simply making life choices that made me unattractive. I lost weight, dressed better, etc. I'm 33 now and in the last 2.5 years, I've slept with more women than I did from 16-30 despite the fact I work full time, study full time and am a single parent (i.e. I have very little time for dating). If I lost some more weight, spent more time dating and attempted to have casual sex I could probably sleep with 20+ women per year fairly easily. My facial features are at best average, likely below average but I am tall and muscular (10 years Army).

dragonwriter 8y ago

“extramarital” sex usually means sex by a married person with someone other than their spouse; I think “nonmarital” is a better term for what you are discussing.

esturk 8y ago

Yes, women controls the access to sex but of the men that do get the sex, those men controls the access to the relationship. See it really is supply and demand. If a stud can get access to so many women, why would he commit so easily to just any relationship? Like the tech job market, you have top companies getting most of the applicants and being super selective. Eventually, some women will have to settle on a lesser company or University.

distant_hat 8y ago
In my (limited) experience, I see women separating the two. They have sex with the unavailable stud and have the relationship with some beta guy or their girlfriends.

michaelmrose 8y ago

If men in the bottom 20% want sex they can take steps to increase their position including losing weight, hitting the gym, working on getting a better paid job. Alternatively they can offer a greater degree of commitment to female bottom 20%ers who presumably ALSO aren't getting a lot of casual interaction.

MRD85 8y ago
I don't know why you're downvoted. When I was young (18-22) I had no luck with women. I think I literally went 3 years straight in that range without a sexual partner. I was on the verge of becoming an angry, resentful man. I discovered some precursor to The Red Pill and I took the self-improvement advice. I realised the fault wasn't with women, I was simply making life choices that made me unattractive. I lost weight, dressed better, etc. I'm 33 now and in the last 2.5 years, I've slept with more women than I did from 16-30 despite the fact I work full time, study full time and am a single parent (i.e. I have very little time for dating). If I lost some more weight, spent more time dating and attempted to have casual sex I could probably sleep with 20+ women per year fairly easily. My facial features are at best average, likely below average but I am tall and muscular (10 years Army).