The decision is easier when you have conversations and put wishes in writing before they are necessary. And update them as needed. My dad has ESRD and we've ha

The decision is easier when you have conversations and put wishes in writing before they are necessary. And update them as needed. My dad has ESRD and we've had some conversations about what he would want at the end. Many of the potential issues we've discussed involve getting 2nd+ opinions if necessary... but he also makes it clear (and I agree with him) that at some point the treatment and recovery process itself might not be worth it for an unknown recovery for him. I think this communication respects that this is a difficult decision, and I've come to the conclusion that decisions can be reached that may not be the "best" objective decision (e.g surviving another 33 years) but it is a decision that the person supports, so that you as a survivor can be at peace with it too. So like, if my dad were in a situation similar to your relative - I already know that he would feel that the numerous procedures and years of recovery outweigh 33 more years of life. I would not seek full treatment. Knowing this makes me at peace with anything that can happen, more than anything else we could do. I was inspired largely by Atul Gawande's book "Being Mortal" - where he talks about and discusses ways that we can figure out how to live our life at the end, rather than be worried about death.