4 ms·

These "rules" miss the big picture. People react in certain ways for entirely different reasons. Example: Recruiter mispronounces my name. I don't say anything

These "rules" miss the big picture. People react in certain ways for entirely different reasons. Example: Recruiter mispronounces my name. I don't say anything. This can be because: 1) I'm a coward. 2) I don't care. 3) I care and am not a coward, but think it would be petty to interrupt the conversation to point this out. 4) I'm overly practical and don't care about this kind of details. 5) I think the other person may feel bad if I correct them. 6) I accept that people make sometimes mistakes. Maybe I'll point it out if they do it 3 times or more. Etc. Which is it? You'd have to know the person better to know. Even if the person is just a coward, this could be based on specific traumatic experiences other persons didn't have and which affect only minimally the rest of the personality. Same applies to thank you emails, coming late to the interview etc. With such subtle situations, you need to know _why_ somebody act the way they did, and without knowing the person, which you usually don't, when interviewing, you just can't. These are just BS rules with which recruiters try to make their work easier. Similar to Codility & co. tests for software developers. Well, bad news, recruiting is hard. You'll have to take the time to listen to and think about your candidates.

yial 8y ago
I agree about the name mispronouncing thing. My first name is very easily mispronounced for most people. Even when they’ve just heard me pronounce it for some reason. I usually don’t bother correcting people unless they ask— and even if they do I usually tell them it’s truly not a big deal, and they can call me whatever they would like. (I say / word this in a way that makes sure it’s humorous).
cgriswald 8y ago
Indeed. My last name is not pronounced correctly by English speakers (even when they assume the name is French, which it isn't). Only twice has someone interviewing me gotten it correct, and in both cases it turns out they knew a distant relative of mine. I only bother correcting people when we are going to have a lasting relationship. In an interview? We aren't there yet. I have no idea how this would even play out for "Bob Anderson." "When interviewing, I go for lunch with the candidate. I ask the waiter to subtly get their order wrong. A great test of the interviewee's character!" Or the waiter's character. "We always leave candidates waiting half an hour before calling them in. How do they cope with delays?" I cope with delays of longer than 15 minutes by first trying to communicate about the delay and then by leaving. Dear recruiter, what do you think that says about me? If I find out a recruiter has intentionally done any of these, the interview is over. I'm looking for a good fit. Duplicity, manipulation, lack of integrity... these are not qualities that ingratiate me to anyone. Some people might say, "Well, yeah, but you can afford to do that. Not everyone can." But I did it when I couldn't afford to do it too. Perhaps not surprisingly, most of my employers have been awesome.
Grustaf 8y ago
Why would you even care how they pronounce your name, unless it's an English name? If they mispronounce Jones then sure that would be a red flag for many reasons, but if it's Nguyen? Can anyone outside Vietnam actually pronounce Nguyen? It's virtually impossible to do without practice if your native language is English. Or take Chinese "Qi" or "Xi", or basically any Polish sound. If your language doesn't have nasal vowels or soft sibilants you simply won't be able to pronounce them.
- thosakwe 8y ago
  Names are important. It’s certainly understandable if someone makes a mistake the first time, though.
  - koonsolo 8y ago
    But some names are indeed impossible to pronounce for none-native speakers. In Flemish we have the name Geert, and I never heard any none-native speaker been able to properly say it. That 'G' sound that we make is not used anywhere else that I know of.
    - droithomme 8y ago
      Here's a list of languages that supposedly also use the voiced velar fricative ɣ: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voiced_velar_fricative https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voiced_velar_fricative
  - Grustaf 8y ago
    Ok so practically speaking, if your name is Przybyszewski and you move to a country like China with a very simple phonetic structure, how could they pronounce your name? Before you answer, keep in mind that even smart dedicated Chinese people that study English for years have a hard time pronouncing a lot of words, the sound systems are simply too different.
kovrik 8y ago
Agree. People often 'mispronounce' my first name (can't even pronounce last name). Honestly, I don't care. I don't blame them because they pronounce it from English point of view which is obvious as they are native speakers. Some people ask me how would I say my name (I am Russian, but live in NZ), I tell them. Some people then try to say it that way, sometimes they 'forget' and fallback to English pronunciation. What's the big deal? I can't even imagine myself being offeneded by that (Is author a child or what?). Same goes the other way: NZ is a diverse country, we have people from all around the globe here, and I bet I mispronounce every second name/last name.
- msla 8y ago
  > I can't even imagine myself being offeneded by that (Is author a child or what?). "Offended" as in perceiving the speaker to be giving offense; that is, perceiving the speaker to be intentionally not respecting the listener. Being able to pick up on that is quite adult, and the exact opposite of childish.

yial 8y ago

I agree about the name mispronouncing thing. My first name is very easily mispronounced for most people. Even when they’ve just heard me pronounce it for some reason. I usually don’t bother correcting people unless they ask— and even if they do I usually tell them it’s truly not a big deal, and they can call me whatever they would like. (I say / word this in a way that makes sure it’s humorous).

cgriswald 8y ago

Indeed. My last name is not pronounced correctly by English speakers (even when they assume the name is French, which it isn't). Only twice has someone interviewing me gotten it correct, and in both cases it turns out they knew a distant relative of mine. I only bother correcting people when we are going to have a lasting relationship. In an interview? We aren't there yet. I have no idea how this would even play out for "Bob Anderson." "When interviewing, I go for lunch with the candidate. I ask the waiter to subtly get their order wrong. A great test of the interviewee's character!" Or the waiter's character. "We always leave candidates waiting half an hour before calling them in. How do they cope with delays?" I cope with delays of longer than 15 minutes by first trying to communicate about the delay and then by leaving. Dear recruiter, what do you think that says about me? If I find out a recruiter has intentionally done any of these, the interview is over. I'm looking for a good fit. Duplicity, manipulation, lack of integrity... these are not qualities that ingratiate me to anyone. Some people might say, "Well, yeah, but you can afford to do that. Not everyone can." But I did it when I couldn't afford to do it too. Perhaps not surprisingly, most of my employers have been awesome.

Grustaf 8y ago

Why would you even care how they pronounce your name, unless it's an English name? If they mispronounce Jones then sure that would be a red flag for many reasons, but if it's Nguyen? Can anyone outside Vietnam actually pronounce Nguyen? It's virtually impossible to do without practice if your native language is English. Or take Chinese "Qi" or "Xi", or basically any Polish sound. If your language doesn't have nasal vowels or soft sibilants you simply won't be able to pronounce them.

thosakwe 8y ago
Names are important. It’s certainly understandable if someone makes a mistake the first time, though.
- koonsolo 8y ago
  But some names are indeed impossible to pronounce for none-native speakers. In Flemish we have the name Geert, and I never heard any none-native speaker been able to properly say it. That 'G' sound that we make is not used anywhere else that I know of.
  - droithomme 8y ago
    Here's a list of languages that supposedly also use the voiced velar fricative ɣ: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voiced_velar_fricative https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voiced_velar_fricative
- Grustaf 8y ago
  Ok so practically speaking, if your name is Przybyszewski and you move to a country like China with a very simple phonetic structure, how could they pronounce your name? Before you answer, keep in mind that even smart dedicated Chinese people that study English for years have a hard time pronouncing a lot of words, the sound systems are simply too different.

kovrik 8y ago

Agree. People often 'mispronounce' my first name (can't even pronounce last name). Honestly, I don't care. I don't blame them because they pronounce it from English point of view which is obvious as they are native speakers. Some people ask me how would I say my name (I am Russian, but live in NZ), I tell them. Some people then try to say it that way, sometimes they 'forget' and fallback to English pronunciation. What's the big deal? I can't even imagine myself being offeneded by that (Is author a child or what?). Same goes the other way: NZ is a diverse country, we have people from all around the globe here, and I bet I mispronounce every second name/last name.

msla 8y ago
> I can't even imagine myself being offeneded by that (Is author a child or what?). "Offended" as in perceiving the speaker to be giving offense; that is, perceiving the speaker to be intentionally not respecting the listener. Being able to pick up on that is quite adult, and the exact opposite of childish.