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"grew apart" is a not how reality works. A relationship by nature "disintegrates" if you don't work hard to sustain it. But you are right that no one should b

"grew apart" is a not how reality works. A relationship by nature "disintegrates" if you don't work hard to sustain it. But you are right that no one should be surprised, the outcome is as predictable as gravity and is bound by the same natural laws.

dvtrn 8y ago
"grew apart" is a not how reality works. A relationship by nature "disintegrates" if you don't work hard to sustain it. This seems incredibly narrow-minded, it is 100% possible for a couple to realize their dynamic as two people just doesn't work as well in a romantic relationship as it does platonically, and if both parties are emotionally mature enough with it, they can absolutely part ways and still maintain a healthy ordinary friendship post courting. Asserting that such a phenomenon isn't "how reality works" seems like a weird projection of whatever personal expectations and hang-ups you have about how relationships work.
- zaroth 8y ago
  An ideal can be aspired to, while the reality for the vast majority of couples can still be quite messy. More importantly, please state your disagreeing opinion without the condescending personal attack smacked on.
  - dvtrn 8y ago
    It absolutely "can" be but that's wholly separate from making an declarative statement about what reality "is" for people who chose to terminate their romantic relationships or why. And sorry if you feel that was a "personal attack" because I posited that such an arbitrary and unsubstantiated declaration about the reality of relationships might be coming from a mindset that doesn't give attention to the nuances and idiosyncrasies of relationships or the decisions individuals make in them.
- ancorevard 8y ago
  "Growing apart" is not something that _happens_ to an intimate relationship such as a marriage, it is the natural consequence of the priorities of the two individuals involved. To stay intimate with another requires an enormous amount of investment of both parties. So yes, growing apart does take place, but it is the effect not the cause.

dvtrn 8y ago

"grew apart" is a not how reality works. A relationship by nature "disintegrates" if you don't work hard to sustain it. This seems incredibly narrow-minded, it is 100% possible for a couple to realize their dynamic as two people just doesn't work as well in a romantic relationship as it does platonically, and if both parties are emotionally mature enough with it, they can absolutely part ways and still maintain a healthy ordinary friendship post courting. Asserting that such a phenomenon isn't "how reality works" seems like a weird projection of whatever personal expectations and hang-ups you have about how relationships work.

zaroth 8y ago
An ideal can be aspired to, while the reality for the vast majority of couples can still be quite messy. More importantly, please state your disagreeing opinion without the condescending personal attack smacked on.
- dvtrn 8y ago
  It absolutely "can" be but that's wholly separate from making an declarative statement about what reality "is" for people who chose to terminate their romantic relationships or why. And sorry if you feel that was a "personal attack" because I posited that such an arbitrary and unsubstantiated declaration about the reality of relationships might be coming from a mindset that doesn't give attention to the nuances and idiosyncrasies of relationships or the decisions individuals make in them.
ancorevard 8y ago
"Growing apart" is not something that _happens_ to an intimate relationship such as a marriage, it is the natural consequence of the priorities of the two individuals involved. To stay intimate with another requires an enormous amount of investment of both parties. So yes, growing apart does take place, but it is the effect not the cause.