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From my personal point of view networking is everything or at least 99%. I want to share my experience with you since I hold the people in this forum in high r

From my personal point of view networking is everything or at least 99%. I want to share my experience with you since I hold the people in this forum in high regard. Not paying attention to this "social" issues has deeply affected my career and now I'm at a point where there are few opportunities left for me (mainly due to age, mid 30s now). I really need some help now as I don't know how to turn my life around, this is very important for me as I have a wife + daughter that expect me to be their primary provider. Any good intended advice to improve on this will be greatly appreciated. I prefer to be an introvert (but I am not shy) person and do not rapidly establish strong relationships with the people around me. I am the kind of person that has 3 or 4 friends at most, goes to work, does what it needs to do without much fanfare and goes back home to sleep/read. I've been like this since I was in high school. This was a personal choice back then, my reasoning was: "study hard, work hard and the rest will come to you". I come from a low-middle class family that made themselves from the ground, as a result, work ethics are very deeply ingrained in my principles. I have never failed to deliver what I promise on a school or work related environment. I do not mean to offend anyone with this but I have to say it just to further clarify my situation: I do not have any physical or mental disabilities, I dress appropriately, I'm white (although not American/European) and I do not behave in an awkward manner. Not paying attention to networking while I was in school and at previous jobs has severely limited my options for professional development. I almost never get good job offers, promotions or even proper acknowledgement for the things I do. They mostly go to people around me, some of whom severely lack what's needed for the job, mainly due to their closeness to someone at HR, got tipped off by some friend, ... you get the idea. As a result of this, despite having done everything "good", my career really never took off. I'm stuck in the same kind of developer job as I had 10 years ago. Now the walls are closing in since people raise an eyebrow when they see my age, I cannot just go and hunt for jobs as easily as I could five years ago. Right now, I'm at a terrible company and I truly hate my current job () I don't want to go in detail as I'm really not like that). I cannot just leave since I have bills to pay and also because I'm scared of not finding anything else. I know almost no-one in the industry and my few friends have different ways of life. I would like to read some practical advice on how may I expand my reach to (hopefully) find better job prospects. Among other things, I tried to join some related meetups in my area, but honestly they are mostly made up of people who take it as a hobby (not that there's anything wrong with that). I truly don't know what else I could do.

fb03 8y ago
Your question is really good and I hope you get some meaningful answers out of it, I am just here to help you in another regard: timing. This was posted 9 hours ago and your comment about 8h30 hours after its initial 'interest boom'. Usually things die out in hacker news after a night or so so you probably won't get many answers out of this. My lateral advice to you is: keep your eye open for more of those "how did you get out of your {mindless|boring|notwhatiwant} job" posts that usually appear here every 2 months. These posts attract lots of people and are usually very active for almost 2-3 days before people stop answering. If you catch'em early certainly you are gonna get lots of answers. Someone that may or may not be me might have found one of those posts someday in HN and he was lucky to come up with a quick throwaway account and post almost exactly the same content as yours and he got (quite a lot of) meaningful answers out of it from people from varied walks of life. Good luck on your stuff, you are not alone in this "problem" you have. Also, pat yourself on the back everyday for providing for your family and keeping strong even tho you hate what you do on a daily basis. You are doing good for your peers. o/
rekshaw 8y ago
Seems like you're scared of changing jobs because you think there will inevitably be a gap between your old job and looking for your new job--this doesn't need be the case. You can start looking for other jobs while you work, and interview. You've got nothing to lose. This is a golden age for developers and mid thirties is YOUNG, not old. Just make sure you also pick up some in-demand tech or at least update your capabilities to be at least aware of what's "modern" as a lot has changed in 10 years depending on your focus area.
heurist 8y ago
You have experience, use it to improve your product/team/company. You have to stand behind your opinions and push to make yourself heard. Take control of your time. Be willing to lose your job, whether it's from quitting or being fired for muckraking. Best shot is probably to find a small company that gives you a better culture and more opportunity to shine even if it means a little more effort. Google local venture funds and reach out to companies among their portfolios, if possible, or find remote work if there's no nearby tech/business scene. Linkedin, Indeed, AngelList, StackOverflow., TripleByte... there's no shortage of job boards. But no one is going to apply for you. Find ways to build your courage and self-confidence outside of work if nothing else. Physical hobbies are great for this, especially rock climbing which requires directly overcoming fear of failure to achieve success. Mid-thirties is nothing. A team I used to work for hired a couple older devs (much older than you) that were truly terrible, and they are still at that company. Jobs are out there and if you're any good you'll find work. Don't let your age be an excuse. You can't change your age. Only valid excuses IMO are dire financial or health issues - repairing those would be priority number one.

fb03 8y ago

Your question is really good and I hope you get some meaningful answers out of it, I am just here to help you in another regard: timing. This was posted 9 hours ago and your comment about 8h30 hours after its initial 'interest boom'. Usually things die out in hacker news after a night or so so you probably won't get many answers out of this. My lateral advice to you is: keep your eye open for more of those "how did you get out of your {mindless|boring|notwhatiwant} job" posts that usually appear here every 2 months. These posts attract lots of people and are usually very active for almost 2-3 days before people stop answering. If you catch'em early certainly you are gonna get lots of answers. Someone that may or may not be me might have found one of those posts someday in HN and he was lucky to come up with a quick throwaway account and post almost exactly the same content as yours and he got (quite a lot of) meaningful answers out of it from people from varied walks of life. Good luck on your stuff, you are not alone in this "problem" you have. Also, pat yourself on the back everyday for providing for your family and keeping strong even tho you hate what you do on a daily basis. You are doing good for your peers. o/

rekshaw 8y ago

Seems like you're scared of changing jobs because you think there will inevitably be a gap between your old job and looking for your new job--this doesn't need be the case. You can start looking for other jobs while you work, and interview. You've got nothing to lose. This is a golden age for developers and mid thirties is YOUNG, not old. Just make sure you also pick up some in-demand tech or at least update your capabilities to be at least aware of what's "modern" as a lot has changed in 10 years depending on your focus area.

heurist 8y ago

You have experience, use it to improve your product/team/company. You have to stand behind your opinions and push to make yourself heard. Take control of your time. Be willing to lose your job, whether it's from quitting or being fired for muckraking. Best shot is probably to find a small company that gives you a better culture and more opportunity to shine even if it means a little more effort. Google local venture funds and reach out to companies among their portfolios, if possible, or find remote work if there's no nearby tech/business scene. Linkedin, Indeed, AngelList, StackOverflow., TripleByte... there's no shortage of job boards. But no one is going to apply for you. Find ways to build your courage and self-confidence outside of work if nothing else. Physical hobbies are great for this, especially rock climbing which requires directly overcoming fear of failure to achieve success. Mid-thirties is nothing. A team I used to work for hired a couple older devs (much older than you) that were truly terrible, and they are still at that company. Jobs are out there and if you're any good you'll find work. Don't let your age be an excuse. You can't change your age. Only valid excuses IMO are dire financial or health issues - repairing those would be priority number one.