I think all people accept these as factors that can help decide something one way or the other. Social exclusion is a pretty blunt and extreme measure, people

I think all people accept these as factors that can help decide something one way or the other. Social exclusion is a pretty blunt and extreme measure, people are and should be more tolerate of their friends in most ways, et cetera. "Friends should accept me as I am" is an angle a normal person would take when they don't want to submit to their friends' criticism, but they would be ready to accept if their friends don't see it as the right story to tell about the situation. These become fallacies when someone starts taking them for bedrock principles they can rely on without considering other factors. People do this because they are overwhelmed and flailing, or because they can't stand the uncertainty of not knowing how their friends will act in a potential situation. Geeks like taming confusion and uncertainty with knowledge, but instead they should choose the path (which is also appealing to geeks, if they get enough confidence) of developing skills and trusting their skills to see them through unpredictable situations.