5 ms·

Sorry, I just don't see the point. If you send hints like "someone wants to #reunite" I'm sure the recipient will accept just to find out who the person is reg

Sorry, I just don't see the point. If you send hints like "someone wants to #reunite" I'm sure the recipient will accept just to find out who the person is regardless of what their offline intentions are. Since your identity is revealed anyway I don't see how this saves you from the perceived embarrassment of just asking the person directly. In the past I've often desired and tried asking for things subtly or in a round about way so as to hunt at what I want without the risk if rejection. In my experience it's not a great path to take. If the fear of rejection outweighs the potential benefits and you can't bring yourself to ask (for a date, raise, reunion, etc.) then maybe you just don't want as much as you think you do. When you want something deeply enough you'll ask for it without fear or embarrassment.

AlphaWeaver 8y ago
Based on what I understand from a cursory read of the site, you can't choose to "accept" just based on getting a hint. You have to actually guess the identity (email) of the person requesting to receive the full message...
dougk16 8y ago
> If you send hints like "someone wants to #reunite" I'm sure the recipient will accept just to find out who the person is regardless of what their offline intentions are. Since your identity is revealed anyway I don't see how this saves you from the perceived embarrassment of just asking the person directly. The way hashtag-based hints work is that the recipient would only see that someone had a thought with that hashtag, not who. I don't know if that addresses your point exactly, but the recipient in this case doesn't necessarily know who wants to #reunite, it's not revealed just by clicking or anything. If they suspect someone specifically then it's up to them to guess essentially.
- everdev 8y ago
  Yeah but then you just write "#reunite" and the match is made and identity is revealed right?
  - dougk16 8y ago
    The recipient of the hint #reunite has to guess the identity of the person who sent the hint. It is never simply revealed in this case. To add to the confusion ;) there is another type of hint that only reveals the identity and not the hashtag.
    - everdev 8y ago
      Is there anything to prevent guessing dozens of people until you guess the right one?
      - dougk16 8y ago
        Nope! Beyond a lot of clicking :)
      - tylerhou 8y ago
        OP suggested that they might add a cost per guess.
        dougk16 8y ago
        That sounds like both a good way to both monetize and rate limit spam guessing. I'm not seeing where OP suggested this idea, so I'm crediting you! Thanks. Or maybe I'm OP?
        tylerhou 8y ago
        You are OP: https://aytwit.com/blog/thoughter_deep_example https://aytwit.com/blog/thoughter_deep_example
        dougk16 8y ago
        Ah lol I didn't figure anyone would read through that!
        prawn 8y ago
goshx 8y ago
> If the fear of rejection outweighs the potential benefits and you can't bring yourself to ask (for a date, raise, reunion, etc.) then maybe you just don't want as much as you think you do. > When you want something deeply enough you'll ask for it without fear or embarrassment. It sounds to me like you are not an introvert and judge who is by "not wanting things enough". It's not as simple as you think.
- linuxdude314 8y ago
  As an introvert, I disagree. Being introverted does not mean you lack the ability to be assertive, it simply means you don’t draw your energy from social stimulation (quite the opposite). There is wisdom in the phrase carpe diem.
- everdev 8y ago
  I'm definitely not an extrovert. I think I've come to realize over time that I'm always making cost / benefit or risk / reward decisions with my actions. If I want a raise, I have the potential for a reward and a potential risk of letting my boss know that I'm not happy with my current salary. I think that fear of asking is really that fear of rejection or fear of disconnection. What I'm saying is that this tool won't always be there and we need to find ways on our own to minimize the fear / risk of asking for what we want in life. Sure, you might get lucky a couple times with this app, but life will keep throwing you more awkward situations.

AlphaWeaver 8y ago

Based on what I understand from a cursory read of the site, you can't choose to "accept" just based on getting a hint. You have to actually guess the identity (email) of the person requesting to receive the full message...

dougk16 8y ago

> If you send hints like "someone wants to #reunite" I'm sure the recipient will accept just to find out who the person is regardless of what their offline intentions are. Since your identity is revealed anyway I don't see how this saves you from the perceived embarrassment of just asking the person directly. The way hashtag-based hints work is that the recipient would only see that someone had a thought with that hashtag, not who. I don't know if that addresses your point exactly, but the recipient in this case doesn't necessarily know who wants to #reunite, it's not revealed just by clicking or anything. If they suspect someone specifically then it's up to them to guess essentially.

everdev 8y ago
Yeah but then you just write "#reunite" and the match is made and identity is revealed right?
- dougk16 8y ago
  The recipient of the hint #reunite has to guess the identity of the person who sent the hint. It is never simply revealed in this case. To add to the confusion ;) there is another type of hint that only reveals the identity and not the hashtag.
  - everdev 8y ago
    Is there anything to prevent guessing dozens of people until you guess the right one?
    - dougk16 8y ago
      Nope! Beyond a lot of clicking :)
    - tylerhou 8y ago
      OP suggested that they might add a cost per guess.
      - dougk16 8y ago
        That sounds like both a good way to both monetize and rate limit spam guessing. I'm not seeing where OP suggested this idea, so I'm crediting you! Thanks. Or maybe I'm OP?
        tylerhou 8y ago
        You are OP: https://aytwit.com/blog/thoughter_deep_example https://aytwit.com/blog/thoughter_deep_example
        dougk16 8y ago
        Ah lol I didn't figure anyone would read through that!
      - prawn 8y ago

goshx 8y ago

> If the fear of rejection outweighs the potential benefits and you can't bring yourself to ask (for a date, raise, reunion, etc.) then maybe you just don't want as much as you think you do. > When you want something deeply enough you'll ask for it without fear or embarrassment. It sounds to me like you are not an introvert and judge who is by "not wanting things enough". It's not as simple as you think.

linuxdude314 8y ago
As an introvert, I disagree. Being introverted does not mean you lack the ability to be assertive, it simply means you don’t draw your energy from social stimulation (quite the opposite). There is wisdom in the phrase carpe diem.
everdev 8y ago
I'm definitely not an extrovert. I think I've come to realize over time that I'm always making cost / benefit or risk / reward decisions with my actions. If I want a raise, I have the potential for a reward and a potential risk of letting my boss know that I'm not happy with my current salary. I think that fear of asking is really that fear of rejection or fear of disconnection. What I'm saying is that this tool won't always be there and we need to find ways on our own to minimize the fear / risk of asking for what we want in life. Sure, you might get lucky a couple times with this app, but life will keep throwing you more awkward situations.