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I think this is a really interesting product, but I also find it really weird. Maybe I’m just getting older and this isn’t for me. It wasn’t that long ago that

I think this is a really interesting product, but I also find it really weird. Maybe I’m just getting older and this isn’t for me. It wasn’t that long ago that people actually had to have the courage to have a conversation. It kind of breaks my heart to think that a father (or son) wants to connect again but only if the other person does as well. That’s just not how that relationship works.

rexpop 8y ago
> That’s just not how that relationship works. You're suggesting this is an unrealistic example? The tool is far from elegant enough to facilitate such a reunion, but I can count a handful of such estranged father/son pairs for which the right mediation might help.
- duncan-donuts 8y ago
  No, I don’t think it’s unrealistic. You’re probably right that it would work and could be helpful. We’ve all probably known, or have experienced first hand, a situation where you don’t talk to family for years. I think the only part of it that I am being critical of is that both parties need to engage, opaquely. People are stubborn. I’m no different. I just think it would be unfortunate if a person really wanted to make amends or right their wrongs with someone and never had an opportunity to do that. It’s okay for the other person to have no interest in that, but what if they want the same thing but are too angry to admit that? Maybe I’m thinking about it too much. I do think some of the other examples are really good though, and I like the possibilities. I think I’m just sensitive to one part of it, and that sensitivity shouldn’t write it off fornwhat it could be.
ljm 8y ago
Maybe this makes you fortunate for having kind relationships throughout your life, or less fortunate for not knowing the difficulty of reconciling a relationship. One perfect use-case for this is for an adopted person. They don't know their birth mum and dad, and it takes intense bravery to face up to that and reach out and trust them to feel the same way as you. What if you get rejected? Wouldn't you try to make this interaction safer? What if you could even practice it knowing that the communication would be erased in a short time? Yes, I'm talking about me. And others in my position.
- duncan-donuts 8y ago
  I have been fortunate to have mostly kind relationships. I apologize for my insensitivity. I think you’re right about the use case you’ve presented and there are plenty more, I’m sure. My criticism of an example use case shouldn’t have presented as writing off the whole premise. Presenting it as a way to ask a girl out, or making up after a fight doesn’t present the power it could have.
  - dougk16 8y ago
    I couldn't think of any more powerful examples than those. I might wish otherwise, but if Thoughter does become popular it seems like it would be, if I may be blunt, off the backs of teenagers and/or college kids looking to hook up, so Tinder or Snapchat-type interactions. Or maybe it should go in the opposite direction and be used for more frivolous situations? Open to any suggestions.
skywhopper 8y ago
This has nothing to do with your age or the "kids these days" or social change. Just because you can't see yourself using something doesn't mean there's not lots of people who could use it, or that something is wrong with society.
vortico 8y ago
Perhaps the father/son example is too dark, but it does offer a use-case other than the obvious asking-out-for-a-date example.
anbop 8y ago
If you have no use case for this product, consider the ways in which you have been fortunate.

rexpop 8y ago

> That’s just not how that relationship works. You're suggesting this is an unrealistic example? The tool is far from elegant enough to facilitate such a reunion, but I can count a handful of such estranged father/son pairs for which the right mediation might help.

duncan-donuts 8y ago
No, I don’t think it’s unrealistic. You’re probably right that it would work and could be helpful. We’ve all probably known, or have experienced first hand, a situation where you don’t talk to family for years. I think the only part of it that I am being critical of is that both parties need to engage, opaquely. People are stubborn. I’m no different. I just think it would be unfortunate if a person really wanted to make amends or right their wrongs with someone and never had an opportunity to do that. It’s okay for the other person to have no interest in that, but what if they want the same thing but are too angry to admit that? Maybe I’m thinking about it too much. I do think some of the other examples are really good though, and I like the possibilities. I think I’m just sensitive to one part of it, and that sensitivity shouldn’t write it off fornwhat it could be.

ljm 8y ago

Maybe this makes you fortunate for having kind relationships throughout your life, or less fortunate for not knowing the difficulty of reconciling a relationship. One perfect use-case for this is for an adopted person. They don't know their birth mum and dad, and it takes intense bravery to face up to that and reach out and trust them to feel the same way as you. What if you get rejected? Wouldn't you try to make this interaction safer? What if you could even practice it knowing that the communication would be erased in a short time? Yes, I'm talking about me. And others in my position.

duncan-donuts 8y ago
I have been fortunate to have mostly kind relationships. I apologize for my insensitivity. I think you’re right about the use case you’ve presented and there are plenty more, I’m sure. My criticism of an example use case shouldn’t have presented as writing off the whole premise. Presenting it as a way to ask a girl out, or making up after a fight doesn’t present the power it could have.
- dougk16 8y ago
  I couldn't think of any more powerful examples than those. I might wish otherwise, but if Thoughter does become popular it seems like it would be, if I may be blunt, off the backs of teenagers and/or college kids looking to hook up, so Tinder or Snapchat-type interactions. Or maybe it should go in the opposite direction and be used for more frivolous situations? Open to any suggestions.

skywhopper 8y ago

This has nothing to do with your age or the "kids these days" or social change. Just because you can't see yourself using something doesn't mean there's not lots of people who could use it, or that something is wrong with society.

vortico 8y ago

Perhaps the father/son example is too dark, but it does offer a use-case other than the obvious asking-out-for-a-date example.

anbop 8y ago

If you have no use case for this product, consider the ways in which you have been fortunate.