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> I don't want to live or work in a world where I have to constantly guard my tongue for fear of "offending" someone I don't understand this. Essentially, you

> I don't want to live or work in a world where I have to constantly guard my tongue for fear of "offending" someone I don't understand this. Essentially, your comment comes down to "I don't care how other people feel. I want to say what makes me happy, and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it." And that's fine, I guess, if that's how you want to live your life. But offense is both taken and given — it's a two-way street. If you say something and someone says "Hey, that upset me", then you now have a choice of whether to say similar things in the future. If you choose to say those things that you have been told are offensive to this person, then you get to deal with the repercussions of that choice. After all: "If you cannot handle the heat, leave the kitchen."

malvosenior 8y ago
The window of what's considered offensive has widened to the point that nearly everything is offensive, up to and including staying silent on an issue. There are real people in the real world that will get offended if you say "hey guys" after all. What people want is for the grievance hunters to go away and/or toughen up.
- delecti 8y ago
  Or possibly, a lot of people have always been kinda shit to each other, and it's only recently that people have felt confident in speaking out about it.
- DonaldPShimoda 8y ago
  > There are real people in the real world that will get offended if you say "hey guys" after all. I don't want to say that I don't believe these people exist (because I'm sure they do), but rather I don't think their presence is something you need to be overly concerned with because I think there are so shockingly few of them that it really isn't overly consequential. I think their existence is overhyped by people on the internet, because I've never met anyone in my life who has brought this up in the real world. Just handle things like that on a case-by-case basis. If all the people you interact with don't care... then you probably don't need to worry about it. But if there's someone who says "Hey, I don't like it when you say that", then perhaps take their opinion under consideration and determine what you want to do about it. The notion that you need to constantly be on guard about everything you say is completely absurd, unless you're a raging asshole whose comments regularly spark resentment in your conversational counterparts.
sneak 8y ago
“You can ignore the consequences of your actions. You cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring the consequences of your actions.”
stirfrykitty 8y ago
Direct anecdote: A couple of years ago, I worked with a large team and there was a gay man on the team who was constantly yapping on about gay this and gay that, almost like he was looking for disapproval among the ranks. He then decided to do a legal union with his boyfriend and invited everyone. Those who did not attend were berated, verbally accused of this and that. I counseled everyone to simply ignore him and not take the bait, which ended up being sound judgement, because he took his leave shortly thereafter. I never engaged in ad-hominem attacks or retaliated against this man. I just refused to play his childish game of attacking people for some imagined reasons. Linus, Theo, and other large project leaders deal with actual idiots all the time. Serial idiots. Sometimes in the real world you have to step on toes to get someone's attention. It can often be done in "nicer" ways, but sometimes you have to "nuke them from orbit" just to be sure. Recently, my British uncle told me of a story about a woman in England who went apoplectic about a new tissue range having the marketing slogan "man-sized" tissues. Who cares? It's marketing. The company actually caved to please this woman. I would not have done so. My tissues, my slogan. Don't buy them if you're offended.
- brenschluss 8y ago
  Why are you so offended about other people being offended? Why not just say, “this must be a big issue to them”? Why do you feel the need to prove that these things don’t offend you, and that thus they shouldn’t offend others?
  - stirfrykitty 8y ago
    I'm not "offended". I'm sick and tired of political correctness invading every aspect of life. Leave it for the politicians. I'm not going to change who I am to please someone else. Everyone else is already taken. Like most people, I have strong views on many things, and some of those things are hills worth dying for. Other things are more grey and I overlook them or simply don't care at all. It's come to a place now in society where even silence can be taken the wrong way. I've been accused of being politically incorrect over the years because I refuse to cotton to certain things the mainstream embraces, but I refuse to budge. My convictions are mine and mine alone. I don't try and change other people's convictions. But... if you stand for nothing, you fall for anything.

malvosenior 8y ago

The window of what's considered offensive has widened to the point that nearly everything is offensive, up to and including staying silent on an issue. There are real people in the real world that will get offended if you say "hey guys" after all. What people want is for the grievance hunters to go away and/or toughen up.

delecti 8y ago
Or possibly, a lot of people have always been kinda shit to each other, and it's only recently that people have felt confident in speaking out about it.
DonaldPShimoda 8y ago
> There are real people in the real world that will get offended if you say "hey guys" after all. I don't want to say that I don't believe these people exist (because I'm sure they do), but rather I don't think their presence is something you need to be overly concerned with because I think there are so shockingly few of them that it really isn't overly consequential. I think their existence is overhyped by people on the internet, because I've never met anyone in my life who has brought this up in the real world. Just handle things like that on a case-by-case basis. If all the people you interact with don't care... then you probably don't need to worry about it. But if there's someone who says "Hey, I don't like it when you say that", then perhaps take their opinion under consideration and determine what you want to do about it. The notion that you need to constantly be on guard about everything you say is completely absurd, unless you're a raging asshole whose comments regularly spark resentment in your conversational counterparts.

sneak 8y ago

“You can ignore the consequences of your actions. You cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring the consequences of your actions.”

stirfrykitty 8y ago

Direct anecdote: A couple of years ago, I worked with a large team and there was a gay man on the team who was constantly yapping on about gay this and gay that, almost like he was looking for disapproval among the ranks. He then decided to do a legal union with his boyfriend and invited everyone. Those who did not attend were berated, verbally accused of this and that. I counseled everyone to simply ignore him and not take the bait, which ended up being sound judgement, because he took his leave shortly thereafter. I never engaged in ad-hominem attacks or retaliated against this man. I just refused to play his childish game of attacking people for some imagined reasons. Linus, Theo, and other large project leaders deal with actual idiots all the time. Serial idiots. Sometimes in the real world you have to step on toes to get someone's attention. It can often be done in "nicer" ways, but sometimes you have to "nuke them from orbit" just to be sure. Recently, my British uncle told me of a story about a woman in England who went apoplectic about a new tissue range having the marketing slogan "man-sized" tissues. Who cares? It's marketing. The company actually caved to please this woman. I would not have done so. My tissues, my slogan. Don't buy them if you're offended.

brenschluss 8y ago
Why are you so offended about other people being offended? Why not just say, “this must be a big issue to them”? Why do you feel the need to prove that these things don’t offend you, and that thus they shouldn’t offend others?
- stirfrykitty 8y ago
  I'm not "offended". I'm sick and tired of political correctness invading every aspect of life. Leave it for the politicians. I'm not going to change who I am to please someone else. Everyone else is already taken. Like most people, I have strong views on many things, and some of those things are hills worth dying for. Other things are more grey and I overlook them or simply don't care at all. It's come to a place now in society where even silence can be taken the wrong way. I've been accused of being politically incorrect over the years because I refuse to cotton to certain things the mainstream embraces, but I refuse to budge. My convictions are mine and mine alone. I don't try and change other people's convictions. But... if you stand for nothing, you fall for anything.