4 ms·

This just got me thinking that dating sites definitely fall into this category. Perhaps the answer is not a dating site but a dating tool, much like Facebook do

This just got me thinking that dating sites definitely fall into this category. Perhaps the answer is not a dating site but a dating tool, much like Facebook does not try to make you social connections, but facilitates the social connections you already have. You could write down the dates you have already been on, what you did/talked about, and compare notes with other people. Anyways, just a thought.

sedachv 16y ago
You mean like the whole pick-up artist community? Most girls aren't that interested in recording details of their dates, and definitely don't want other people knowing about their dating life (unless they're really young and want to brag that they're dating a football player, or in one recent case, have had the discriminating taste to sleep with half of the Duke lacrosse team).
- yummyfajitas 16y ago
  Actually, a tool bringing pick up artist techniques to the masses might be useful. I know a guy who does record assorted details of approaches (various sketches/openers) and outcomes (dissed, phone number, base #, etc). He records them on paper, puts it into excel the next day and A/B tests. He is very successful. A tool that automates all this could be very useful for those of us less willing to devote large amounts of time to picking up women.
  - sedachv 16y ago
    The amount of time it takes him to put this into Excel is miniscule compared to just having a conversation with a single woman. What's really driving his success is his persistence (it's a numbers game). The problem with "bringing pick up artist techniques to the masses" is the same as the guy/girl ratio notification tools. We're very poor in making comparisons based on absolute factors, so we make our decisions based on relative comparisons. This includes the decision of who, if anyone, to sleep with. It's a zero-sum game. Anyone who realizes this realizes that it's in his best interest not to tell everyone about his pick-up technique or the large number of girls in the bar he's at, and anyone who doesn't probably doesn't have the social intelligence to sleep with those girls anyway (that's where the absolute factors come into play). But I hear Mystery is a multi-millionaire, so there's probably a market for such a tool.
    - yummyfajitas 16y ago
      I agree that data entry + excel time is not a lot. But coming up with sketch material and gathering enough data points for an A/B test to be statistically useful is a huge investment. Success = P x A, with P = probability of success and A = # of approaches. When A is large, it's a no-brainer to gather data and crunch numbers to improve P. Unfortunately, you can't improve P without a large A since your numbers won't be statistically significant. A tool which crowdsources the data gathering/content creation and delivers modest improvements in P would certainly be worth $2.99 to me.
      - sedachv 16y ago
        That's totally missing the point of the zero-sum thing. I watched a few episodes of the VH1 show The Pick-up Artist (reality TV where Mystery teaches a bunch of guys to pick up girls). They constantly used corny lines like "I need a female opinion on _" Any girl who has seen the show is going to respond with "OMG are you one of those pick-up guys?" if she hears a similar line (if she really likes you then she'll ignore it and pretend to play along, but then you could have said anything and it would have worked). I hear that's exactly what happened with all the lines/techniques in Neil Strauss' book The Game. The whole point of lines is to show the girl you are articulate and intelligent enough to have a good sense of humor. If everyone starts using the same ones girls will catch on, and the lines will stop working.
        yummyfajitas 16y ago
        You don't believe that a sufficiently intelligent computer system can coordinate to reduce overuse of lines? I.e., deliver line X to 10,000 geographically separated people? As for dating/pickup, I don't believe it's zero sum. It's not a competition for a fixed set of prizes, i.e. 5 girls at the bar, all of whom will go home with someone. f she really likes you then she'll ignore it and pretend to play along, but then you could have said anything and it would have worked I have it on good authority (read: "spreadsheet pickup guy", who's name I'm hiding for obvious reasons) that this is false, and conversion rates can vary 20-30% (sometimes more) based on approach and profile.
- kscaldef 16y ago
  > Most girls aren't that interested in recording details of their dates, and definitely don't want other people knowing about their dating life Publicly, I assume you mean. As far as I can tell, women talk with their friends about their dates and their dating / sex life in far, far more detail than men do.
  - sedachv 16y ago
    Talking about it and writing it up are very different things. The reason has to do with later deniability (sometimes things are better forgotten; a lot of women feel that way about their ex-boyfriends). There's a reason why the few girls that keep them are very protective of their diaries.
- danielrhodes 16y ago
  This has been a running joke among friends for awhile: a Foursquare for girls. Checkin to girls and see who else has as well.

sedachv 16y ago

You mean like the whole pick-up artist community? Most girls aren't that interested in recording details of their dates, and definitely don't want other people knowing about their dating life (unless they're really young and want to brag that they're dating a football player, or in one recent case, have had the discriminating taste to sleep with half of the Duke lacrosse team).

yummyfajitas 16y ago
Actually, a tool bringing pick up artist techniques to the masses might be useful. I know a guy who does record assorted details of approaches (various sketches/openers) and outcomes (dissed, phone number, base #, etc). He records them on paper, puts it into excel the next day and A/B tests. He is very successful. A tool that automates all this could be very useful for those of us less willing to devote large amounts of time to picking up women.
- sedachv 16y ago
  The amount of time it takes him to put this into Excel is miniscule compared to just having a conversation with a single woman. What's really driving his success is his persistence (it's a numbers game). The problem with "bringing pick up artist techniques to the masses" is the same as the guy/girl ratio notification tools. We're very poor in making comparisons based on absolute factors, so we make our decisions based on relative comparisons. This includes the decision of who, if anyone, to sleep with. It's a zero-sum game. Anyone who realizes this realizes that it's in his best interest not to tell everyone about his pick-up technique or the large number of girls in the bar he's at, and anyone who doesn't probably doesn't have the social intelligence to sleep with those girls anyway (that's where the absolute factors come into play). But I hear Mystery is a multi-millionaire, so there's probably a market for such a tool.
  - yummyfajitas 16y ago
    I agree that data entry + excel time is not a lot. But coming up with sketch material and gathering enough data points for an A/B test to be statistically useful is a huge investment. Success = P x A, with P = probability of success and A = # of approaches. When A is large, it's a no-brainer to gather data and crunch numbers to improve P. Unfortunately, you can't improve P without a large A since your numbers won't be statistically significant. A tool which crowdsources the data gathering/content creation and delivers modest improvements in P would certainly be worth $2.99 to me.
    - sedachv 16y ago
      That's totally missing the point of the zero-sum thing. I watched a few episodes of the VH1 show The Pick-up Artist (reality TV where Mystery teaches a bunch of guys to pick up girls). They constantly used corny lines like "I need a female opinion on _" Any girl who has seen the show is going to respond with "OMG are you one of those pick-up guys?" if she hears a similar line (if she really likes you then she'll ignore it and pretend to play along, but then you could have said anything and it would have worked). I hear that's exactly what happened with all the lines/techniques in Neil Strauss' book The Game. The whole point of lines is to show the girl you are articulate and intelligent enough to have a good sense of humor. If everyone starts using the same ones girls will catch on, and the lines will stop working.
      - yummyfajitas 16y ago
        You don't believe that a sufficiently intelligent computer system can coordinate to reduce overuse of lines? I.e., deliver line X to 10,000 geographically separated people? As for dating/pickup, I don't believe it's zero sum. It's not a competition for a fixed set of prizes, i.e. 5 girls at the bar, all of whom will go home with someone. f she really likes you then she'll ignore it and pretend to play along, but then you could have said anything and it would have worked I have it on good authority (read: "spreadsheet pickup guy", who's name I'm hiding for obvious reasons) that this is false, and conversion rates can vary 20-30% (sometimes more) based on approach and profile.
kscaldef 16y ago
> Most girls aren't that interested in recording details of their dates, and definitely don't want other people knowing about their dating life Publicly, I assume you mean. As far as I can tell, women talk with their friends about their dates and their dating / sex life in far, far more detail than men do.
- sedachv 16y ago
  Talking about it and writing it up are very different things. The reason has to do with later deniability (sometimes things are better forgotten; a lot of women feel that way about their ex-boyfriends). There's a reason why the few girls that keep them are very protective of their diaries.
danielrhodes 16y ago
This has been a running joke among friends for awhile: a Foursquare for girls. Checkin to girls and see who else has as well.