Your friend has either gambled - and it payed off (He did not have another offer) Or he did have another offer in which case he negotiated from a leveraged posi

Your friend has either gambled - and it payed off (He did not have another offer) Or he did have another offer in which case he negotiated from a leveraged position. Allow me to be all internet-meta-psychologist. You are having difficulties with this because you are not ready to gamble your current position, as you do not have another offer lined up. You like the positive outcome of the gamble (a raise) but cannot stand the negative (loss of job). You should only bluff if you are ready to be called on it. I would concur with a lot of other advice here and perhaps add a little from the book "Never split the difference". I would probably start as others said with explaining how much you like being there and enjoy your work. But with the market is and what other people in your position gets paid either there or other places you are having a hard time not looking at other career opportunities. So you would really appreciate your managers input on how he could help you stay in your current position and not be forced to look for other opportunities.