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I‘d like to differ here: „You have control over your reaction to things.“. I‘ve had my fair share of yelling at my kids, and regretting it afterwards. Or writi

by manmal 8y ago

I‘d like to differ here: „You have control over your reaction to things.“. I‘ve had my fair share of yelling at my kids, and regretting it afterwards. Or writing an inflammatory email response. Obviously, I don’t have full control over my reaction, even though I think I‘m a rather careful person. I do have a strong influence, that’s for sure. I‘ve stopped beating myself up for knee-jerking something. The unconscious has so much control over what surfaces next. I think it was an article here on HN recently that claimed that decisions are formed up to 12 seconds before they become conscious.

blocko 8y ago
You can train and improve the control you have over your reactions - the knee-jerk doesn't need to materialize into anything more than the initial feeling if you practice mindfulness for long enough. Definitely still not worth beating yourself up for anything that has already happened, but in my own experience, taking note and improving how I mentally and physically act in response to feelings has made my life immeasurably better over time